Listen. Just because we got a mutual hankering, doesn't mean we have to act on it. Aside from the hankering, there isn't much about you that I like. So far, you've been a pain in the behind. And I might as well tell you, I've followed through on one hankering and getting shot was more of an enjoyable experience. I didn't like it.
Maggie OsborneTags: romance humorous historical-romance
5. Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still really young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school.
6. Television puts a stop to crime because all the burglars and robbers, instead of going to burgle and rob, sit at home watching The Lone Ranger, Emergency Ward Ten and Dotto.
Tags: television humorous
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
Candice BergenTags: funny humorous hollywood picasso
I like fish," chirruped Tunstell.
"Really, Mr. Tunstell? What is your preferred breed?"
"Well"--Tunstell hesitated--"you know, the um, ones that"--he made a swooping motion with both hands--"uh, swim.
Tags: humorous
There is no need to masturbate your brain, just to ejaculate your thoughts all over the place
Carroll BryantTags: humorous philisophical
The news that Daisy Miller was surrounded by half a dozen wonderful mustaches checked Winterbourne's impulse to go straightway to see her.
Henry JamesTags: humorous
I have panicked unnecessarily in all four corners of the globe.
Jon RonsonКрасивая и неприятно замужняя
Слава СэTags: humorous
oh, my God," I whispered. "But how did they get my photo?
Alex tapped his mouth with his thumb. "That ...book with everyone's picture in it, that you have in high school."
"Yearbook," I said. Was he trying to be funny? But of course he was right; that's exactly where it was from.
Tags: humorous
Okay, boys.” Pestilence's grating voice rang out. “Kill the human and the mutt, and let's get this Apocalypse started!
Larissa IoneTags: humorous
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