I'm hoping you end up happily married to the man of your dreams and have a hoard of beautiful kids that'll keep you on your toes by turning your neighbours into various types of pond-life." He then shot her his signature grin. "But if it happens to be me, then I wouldn't say no."

(Karl to Elena in The Witching Pen)

Dianna Hardy

Tags: humor paranormal-romance humorous witches elena karl dianna-hardy the-witching-pen



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You ever had a hickey? I want to give you a hickey."
"Karl, we're not fourteen!"
"Don't bloody care. I was in love with you when I was fourteen -- your neck owes me a hickey."

(Karl

Dianna Hardy

Tags: humor romance paranormal-romance humorous elena karl dianna-hardy the-witching-pen



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It was a hot, moist armpit of a night...

Mike Carey

Tags: humorous



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Apollo wanted out. Out of Aphrodite, out of this bathroom, out of this house, and out of this life.

Marie Phillips

Tags: humorous



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The surgeon tells me that you're a sorcerer," Pym said. "Is that so?"
Jaki looked to the captain with the glare of the masts in his eyes. "Yes."
Pym weighed this disclosure. "You speak with the dead?"
"Yes."
The captain's eyes screwed up intently. "What do they say to you?"
"They don't talk back."
Pym and Mister Blackheart laughed in unison...The captain said, "Mister Blackheart wants to know what kind of sorcerer you are."
Jaki pondered a response and finally said, "I was learning to catch souls before my teacher was killed."
"Souls, eh? And what do you do with them after you catch them?"
"I put them back in their bodies."
"Ah, then you're telling us you're a surgeon.

A.A. Attanasio

Tags: philosophical culture humorous



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If only, I thought, I could talk to Eugene just one more time. This was before I came to understand that you cannot make someone fall in love with you But here's what you can do. By arguing and pleading and screaming and crying and throwing plates and phoning a lot and bringing hot food and sending flowers and buying gifts and doing unsolicited favors and remembering a birthday and being nice and declaring your abiding love and trying hard or sometimes merely by being present, you can make someone who was hitherto lukewarm really detest you.

Patricia Marx

Tags: love humorous



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Jack might look my age, but he was like a little kid on a sugar high --- in need of a good spanking. --- Good heavens, that sounded creepy.

Kiersten White

Tags: humorous jack evie



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Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.

Nora Ephron

Tags: humorous bikini skinny



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A cupcake temple?' Her chest still tight with anxiety, Bertie forced herself to imagine it: bricks of pound cake mortared with buttercream and chocolate ganache, torches like striped birthday candles set into the walls, pilgrims upon the Path of Delectable Righteousness delivering daily tributes of almond paste and raspberry filling. . . .

Lisa Mantchev

Tags: humorous



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It was the living who ignored the strange and wonderful, because life was too full of the boring and mundane.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: life inspirational humorous



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