There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind.
Douglas AdamsTags: humorous exasperating
The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion.
G.K. ChestertonMerlin's pants!
J.K. RowlingWhen I left high school with my diploma, it felt like I was holding a key that would unlock the door to a better world. Every teacher I passed on my way down to the parking lot—the ones who suspended me for questioning them both earnestly and in jest, suspended me for using a contumacious hip-shake as my hallway gait, suspended me for me being me—the ones who would roll their eyes if my behavior was, on the whole, unpatriotic, unjustified, and immature—well, on the way down that long black declivity, their faces seemed so contorted as if lurking shadows had vice grips locked on their kidneys, wrenching it every time a teacher didn't want to remain upright and respectful. Yes, they didn’t want to me to succeed either! I pledge allegiance to the flag that united every authority in that indefensible school looked at me, even treated me, as if I was a terrorist, or at the very least, unpatriotic. But God—didn’t the red blood, white skin, and blue balls that flagged my physical existence suffice for me to have a little liberty and justice?
Brian CelioTags: humorous high-school pledge-of-allegiance
Bad artists always admire each others work.
Oscar WildeTags: humorous
She looked like a head-on collision between a fashion plate and a nightmare.
L.M. MontgomeryTags: humorous
I'm going to do something bigger and better,
bigger and better
and bolder, but first,
I'm going to do something
smaller and worse.
Tags: poetry thoughtful humorous
Pink is supposed to weaken your enemies, make them go soft on you, which must be why it's used for baby girls. It's a wonder the military hasn't got on to this.
Margaret AtwoodTags: humorous
There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one's hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs.
Lemony SnicketTags: humorous
Sh!t. F_ck sh!t.'....
'Sh!t f_ck would have also been accepted.
Tags: humorous awesomeness
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