The poor lady must have dropped that", she said, and undid the gate stepping out to get it. Jared put his hand on it, "No". Mrs Jeffries stared down at him. "What do you mean...no?" Jared and Mrs. Jeffries stared back at each other, neither breaking eye contact in a perfect deadlock. Then Jared smiled at her. "I mean", he said with conviction, "It's mine." "It's what?" Jared stood up, pocketing the lipstick. "I know", he responded. "Everyone tells me I'm more of a summer". Mrs. Jeffries continued to stare. Jared continued to speak. "I'm going to go now. Me... and my lipstick.
Sarah Rees BrennanTags: humorous
I'm an Author, not a Grammarist!
T.R. PatrickTags: humorous
He has become a worm. That is what I am telling you."
"I don't suppose it would be possible," said Henry into the silence, "to, er, step on him?
Tags: humorous henry-branwell gabriel-lightwood
Eggs," said Henry dreamily, looking at his plate. "I do love eggs. I could eat them all day.
Cassandra ClareTags: humorous henry-branwell
She smelled of talcum powder and Big Red.
David Foster WallaceTags: humorous
Don't be so damned patronizing. Your performance so far has been a little less than dazzling."
"I didn't mean no harm," I said and kissed her. "That a new dress?"
"Ah! Changing the subject, you coward.
Tags: funny humorous coward changing-the-subject patronizing
My dearest Pudding pie" I read aloud.
"Yes, my little turnip?"
"Hilarious," I muttered. "If you ever call me anything of the sort again we shall have words.
Tags: humorous romantic-love endearing heartwarming
Listening to the Fifth Symphony of Ralph Vaughan Williams is like staring at a cow for 45 minutes.
Aaron CoplandTags: music opinion insults humorous boring
I've fucked you, licked you, bound you, flogged you, and spanked you. Jesus, Lilly, how much more do you want to get to know each other?
Ella DominguezTags: humorous erotic-romance
The important thing for any writer to remember is to take the writing seriously, but not the writer.
A.E. PoynorTags: adventure humorous alaska romance-funny
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