It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr. Darcy and to stand on your own looking snooty at a party. It's like being called Heathcliff and insisting on spending the entire evening in the garden, shouting "Cathy" and banging your head against a tree.
Helen FieldingTags: heathcliff humour mr-darcy snooty wuthering-heights
For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.
Douglas AdamsTags: humour
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
Douglas AdamsTags: humor writing work humour deadlines
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
Oscar WildeDo you hate people?”
“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around.
Tags: paraphrased humour misanthropy
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.
Woody AllenThere's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
Woody AllenNo intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it
Fernando PessoaTags: humour
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
Groucho MarxMy patience has dreadful chilblains from standing so long on a monument.
Elizabeth Barrett BrowningPage 1 of 254.
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