Love is a verb, not a noun. It is active. Love is not just feelings of passion and romance. It is behavior. If a man lies to you, he is behaving badly and unlovingly toward you. He is disrespecting you and your relationship. The words “I love you” are not enough to make up for that. Don’t kid yourself that they are.
Susan ForwardTags: lies trust liar deceit compulsive-liars pathological-liars
Reality Check
His lying is not contigent on who you are or what you do. His lying is not your fault. Lying is his choice and his problem, and if he makes that choice with you, he will make it with any other woman he’s with. That doesn’t mean you’re an angel and he’s the devil. It does mean that if he doesn’t like certain things about you, he has many ways to address them besides lying. If there are sexual problems between you, there are many resources available to help you. Nothing can change until you hold him responsible and accountable for lying and stop blaming yourself.
The lies we tell ourselves to keep from seeing the truth about our lovers don’t feel like lies. They feel comfortable, familiar, and true. We repeat them like a mantra and cling to them like security blankets, hoping to calm ourselves and regain our sense that the world works the way we believe it ought to.
Self-lies are false friends we look to for comfort and protection—and for a short time they may make us feel better. But we can only keep the truth at bay for so long. Our self-lies can’t erase his lies, and as we’ll see, the longer we try to pretend they can, the more we deepen the hurt.
Tags: lies trust liar lie deceit cognitive-dissonance compulsive-lying pathological-lying relationship-problems
When your lover is a liar, you and he have a lot in common, you're both lying to you!
Susan ForwardTags: lies trust liar deceit infidelity compulsive-liars pathological-liars
She suddenly remembered studying the brain in science class- how a steel rod pierced a man's skull, and he opened his mouth to speak Portuguese, a language he'd never studied. Maybe it would be like this, now, for Josie. Maybe her native tongue, from here on in, would be a string of lies.
Jodi PicoultTags: lies language mouth speak remembered native-tongue string
It’s not that fact of him telling me he’s not going to kill me that assures me I’ve got some time to breathe. Predo could look me in the eye and tell me whiskey’s good and cigarettes are better and I’d still need a drink and a Lucky to believe he’s not lying. The man breeds lies. He spawns them asexually, with no need for any assistance. He exhales and lies fill the air. Alone in a room, he mutters lies to himself to keep from falling into the trap of truth-telling. In the day, sleeping in his bed, deep in the safest heart of Coalition headquarters, he dreams in lies. The better to keep his left hand from knowing what betrayals his right has planned.
Stretched on the rack and burned with hot irons, Dexter Predo will be in no danger of revealing the truth. Living so far beyond its borders.
Tags: lies
Telling Sam and Daneca feels like peeling off my own skin to expose everything underneath. It hurts.
Holly BlackTags: truth lies secrets hidden confessions sharing-secrets conspiracies
Of all the bright cruel lies they tell you, the cruelest is the one called love.
George R.R. MartinIndeed a lie is often more plausible than the truth. "Almost" always. The truth, of course, is never very plausible.
Fyodor SologubThe truth is messy. It's raw and uncomfortable. You can't blame people for preferring lies.
Holly BlackThis, the language of deception, we both understand. We were born to it, along with the curses.
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