What have you done to my cat?" Magnus demanded... "You drank his blood, didn't you? You said you weren't hungry!"
Simon was indignant. "I did not drink his blood. He's fine!" He poked the Chairman in the stomach. The cat yawned. "Second, you asked me if I was hungry when you were ordering pizza, so I said no, because I can't eat pizza. I was being polite."
"That doesn't get you the right to eat my cat."
"Your cat is fine!" Simon reached to pick up the tabby, who jumped indignantly to his feet and stalked off the table. "See?"
"Whatever.
Tags: cat magnus-bane simon-lewis
I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual,' - Magnus Bane
Cassandra ClareTags: magnus-bane city-of-lost-souls
And down she walked along the street,
A handsome lad she hoped to meet
And sore by dawn were her dainty feet
But all the boys were gay.
Tags: magnus-bane cassandra-clare city-of-lost-souls
Wear that scarf," he said, pointing to a blue cashmere scarf hanging on a peg. "It matches your eyes."
Alec looked at it. Suddenly he was filled with hate - for the scarf, for Magnus, and most of all for himself. "Don't tell me," he said. "The scarf's a hundred years old, and it was given to you by Queen Victoria right before she died, for special services to the Crown or something."
Magnus sat up. "What's gotten into you?"
Alec stared at him. "Am I the newest thing in this apartment?"
"I think that honor goes to Chairman Meow. He's only two."
"I said newest, not youngest," Alec snapped.
Tags: humor fight jealousy the-mortal-instruments magnus-bane alec-lightwood cassandra-clare city-of-lost-souls
I hope you told him you were bitten by a gay spider.
Cassandra ClareTags: magnus-bane simon-lewis alec-lightwood
Alec," Magnus said. He put a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder; Alec was standing still, staring angrily at the floor. "Are you okay?"
Alec looked at him. "Who are you again?"
Magnus gave a little gasp; he looked — for the first time Simon could remember — actually unnerved. It lasted only a moment, but it was there. "Alexander," he said.
"Too soon to joke about the happy memory thing, I take it," Alec said.
Tags: magnus-bane alec-lightwood
I've got the Mark of Cain," said Simon. "That means nothing can kill me, right?"
"You can kill yourself," Magnus said, somewhat unhelpfully. "As far as I know, inanimate objects can accidentally kill you. So if you were planning on teaching yourself the lambada on a greased platform over a pit full of knives, I wouldn't."
"There goes my Saturday.
Tags: humor funny the-mortal-instruments magnus-bane simon-lewis cassandra-clare city-of-lost-souls lambada mark-of-cain
Isabelle snorted, "All the boys are gay. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon."
"You noticed," said Simon.
"I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual," added Magnus.
"Please never say those words in front of my parents," said Alec.
Tags: humor funny gay bisexual isabelle-lightwood magnus-bane simon-lewis mortal-instruments alec-lightwood cassandra-clare city-of-lost-souls
So it's true what they say about warlocks, then?"
Alec gave him a very unpleasant look. "What's true?"
"Alexander," said Magnus coldly, and Clary met Simon's eyes across the table. Hers were wide, green, and full of an expression that said Uh-oh. "You can't be rude to everyone who talks to me."
Alec made a wide, sweeping gesture. "And why not? Cramping your style, am I? I mean, maybe you were hoping to flirt with werewolf boy here. He's pretty attractive, if you like the messy-haired, broad-shouldered, chiseled-good-looks type."
"Hey, now," said Jordan mildly.
Magnus put his head in his hands.
"Or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways, Is there anything you aren't into?"
"Mermaids," said Magnus into his fingers. "They always smell like seaweed."
"It's not funny," Alec said savagely, and kicking back his chair, he got up from the table and stalked off into the crowd.
Tags: humor jealousy funny clary-fray mermaids the-mortal-instruments magnus-bane simon-lewis alec-lightwood cassandra-clare city-of-fallen-angels jordan-kyle not-funny
Isabelle snorted. 'All the boys are gay. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon.'
'You noticed' said Simon.
'I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual,' added Magnus.
'Please never say those words in front of my parents,' said Alec. 'Especially my father.'
'I thought your parents were okay with you, you know, coming out,' Simon said, leaning around Isabelle to look at Alec, who was — as he often was — scowling, and pushing his floppy dark hair out of his eyes. Aside from the occasional exchange, Simon had never talked to Alec much. He wasn’t an easy person to get to know. But, Simon admitted to himself, his own recent estrangement from his mother made him more curious about Alec’s answer than he would have been otherwise.
'My mother seems to have accepted it,' Alec said. 'But my father — no, not really. Once he asked me what I thought had turned me gay.'
Simon felt Isabelle tense next to him. 'Turned you gay?' She sounded incredulous. 'Alec, you didn’t tell me that.'
'I hope you told him you were bitten by a gay spider,' said Simon.
Magnus snorted; Isabelle looked confused. 'I’ve read Magnus’s stash of comics,' said Alec, 'so I actually know what you’re talking about' A small smile played around his mouth. 'So would that give me the proportional gayness of a spider?'
'Only if it was a really gay spider,' said Magnus, and he yelled as Alec punched him in the arm. 'Ow, okay, never mind.
Tags: gay homosexuality isabelle-lightwood magnus-bane simon-lewis coming-out alec-lightwood city-of-lost-souls gay-spider
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