Wherever he found his speech growing too modern -- which was about every sentence or two -- he ladled in a few such Scriptural phrases as "exceeding sore," "and it came to pass," etc., and made things satisfactory again. "And it came to pass" was his pet. If he had left that out, his Bible would have been only a pamphlet.

Mark Twain

Tags: humor scripture bible mark-twain



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I like Joan of Arc best of all my books; and it is the best; I know it perfectly well. And besides, it furnished me seven times the pleasure afforded me by any of the others; twelve years of preparation, and two years of writing. The others need no preparation and got none.

Mark Twain

Tags: mark-twain joan-of-arc joan-of-arc-the-mystic-legacy



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I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before.

Mark Twain

Tags: american-literature mark-twain adventures-of-huckleberry-finn classic-american-literature



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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

Michael J. McManus

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I am willing to be a literary thief if it has so been ordained; I am even willing to be caught robbing the ancient dead alongside of Hopkinson Smith, for he is my friend and a good fellow, and I think would be as honest as any one if he could do it without occasioning remark; but I am not willing to antedate his crimes by fifteen hundred years. I must ask you to knock off part of that.

Mark Twain

Tags: mark-twain plagiarism jumping-frog



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A man once said, 'All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.' Mark Twain, you know. He had a fine mustache. Men of wisdom so often do.

Laini Taylor

Tags: humor mark-twain mustaches



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If you hold a cat by the tail, you learn things you can't learn any other way.--Mark Twain

Tony-Paul de Vissage

Tags: life cats knowledge learning mark-twain



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Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Mark Twain

Tags: conflict mark-twain



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Loose and forbear!

Mark Twain

Tags: language medieval prince mark-twain pauper the-prince-and-the-pauper



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The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of graceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish lying.

Mark Twain

Tags: humor lying twain mark-twain



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