I fixed your car," he said, tossing the keys from a jade dish on the little maple end table.
I palmed them and eyed him speculatively. "You fixed my car?"
"I have walked the earth for more than a century. I managed to pick up some skills along the way," he said, before reluctantly adding, "and one of them is finding skilled mechanics."
I smirked, leaning against the wall. "You almost had me there."
"I supervised," he insisted.
Tags: funny gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
You are the night."
"I am the night," I repeated.
"You are the night."
I cocked my head, sending him a questioning look. "I am the night?"
"Jane!"
"Why is it that when you say my name, it sounds like a curse word?
Tags: funny gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
If looks could kill...well, Dick was already dead, so nothing would happen. But Gabriel was not laughing.
"See Dick," Dick said, pointing at his chest. He then swept his hand dangerously close to mind. "Jane. Dick and Jane. Come on, you humorless jackass. That's funny.
Tags: humor funny dick gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper richard nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Contrary to popular myth, werewolves myth, werewolves are born, not made. No matter how many times they bite someone, that person will not turn, though they will probably bleed profusely and will definitely be annoyed.
Molly HarperTags: werewolves jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Why not? If you're not going to let me see you naked, we might as well be girlfriends."
"You're a twisted little man."
"Come on, Stretch, share with the class."
"No!" I laughed.
"Prude."
"Perv."
"Schoolmarm."
"Some other word that essentially means perv.
Tags: funny dick jane-jameson molly-harper richard perv prude nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs stretch
Idiot," I said, before grinning broadly and crushing his mouth to mine.
"We need to pick new pet names for each other," he muttered as I hefted myself up from the ground.
Tags: funny gabriel pet-names jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
And soon we were just rolling around on the ground, cursing and screeching and ripping out handfuls of hair.
Without super hearing, I wouldn't have heard Zeb whisper, "This is the coolest thing I have ever seen."
"Maybe they'll get muddy," Dick said. "Please, Lord, let them get muddy.
Tags: funny dick jane-jameson molly-harper richard mud missy nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
Would you kick her ass already?" Dick said, shoving me back toward Missy. "Come on, Stretch, man up. You do better than this! Get mad."
I nodded, rolling a dislocated shoulder back into place with a grunt and staggering back toward my opponent.
Behind me, Zeb yelled, "She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad."
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?"
"You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy.
Tags: funny dog dick gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper richard fitz nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile.
Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast.
"What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this?
Too harsh?
Tags: funny sarcasm dick gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper richard nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb postkill-comeback
You can take the girl out of the library, but you can’t take the neurotic, compulsively curious librarian out of the girl.
Molly HarperTags: librarians jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
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