There's nothing I want. There's nothing I can't do. I don't care about anything. No matter what, I am an imposter. An actor in my own life.
Michelle HodkinTags: noah-shaw
This changed nothing. Nothing at all. Noah Shaw was still a whore, still an asshole, and still painfully out of my league. This was my inner mantra, the one I repeated on a loop until Noah tilted his head and spoke.
"You coming in?"
Yes. Yes I was.
I’m too selfish to leave you,” I said. Noah pulled back so I could see his smile. “I’m too selfish to let you.
Michelle HodkinI must be made of nothing to feel so much nothing.
Michelle HodkinIt doesn't matter", he murmured against my skin. His fingers traced the cuts, healing the veins beneath them. "There's only one thing that does."
"What?" I whispered.
He looked at me through his long,, dark lashes, with my hands still in his. "Killing Jude.
Tags: mara-dyer noah-shaw the-evolution-of-mara-dyer
Ladies and gentlemen, Jamal Feldstein-Roth.”
I blinked. “Wait, Jamal?”
“Suck it,” he said with a grin. “My parents are liberal Jews from Long Island, okay? They wanted me to have a connection to my heritage.” Jamie made air quotes with his fingers.
“I’m not judging—my middle name is Amitra. I’m just surprised.”
“Amitra,” Noah amused. “Mystery solved.”
“What is that?” Jamie asked me.
“Sanskrit? Hindi?” I shrugged.
“Randomly?”
I shook my head. “My mom’s Indian.”
“What does that mean?” Jamie asked me.
“What does Jamal mean?” I asked him.
“Point taken.
Tags: mara-dyer noah-shaw the-evolution-of-mara-dyer jamie-roth
What are my options?"
"You could read obscure poetry while I play the triangle, I suppose. Or we can smother ourselves in peanut butter and howl at the moon. Use your imagination."
"Fine,"I said. "You take my hand and back up toward the bed."
"Excellent choice. What then?"
"You sit down, and pull me down with you."
"Where are you?" he asked.
"You pull me onto your lap."
"Where are your legs?"
"Around your waist."
"Well," Noah said, his voice slightly rough. "This is getting interesting. So I'm on the edge of your bed. I'm holding you on my lap as you straddle me. My arms are around you, bracing you there so you don't fall. What am I wearing?"...
"What do you usually wear to bed?" I asked.
Noah said nothing. I opened my eyes to an arched brow and a devious grin.
Oh my God.
"Close. Your. Eyes," he said. I did. "Now, where were we?"
"I was straddling you," I said.
"Right. And I'm wearing..."
"Drawstring pants."
"Those are quite thin, you know."
I'm aware.
...
"Right," he said. "So what are you wearing?"
"I don't know. A space suit. Who cares?"
"I think this should be as vivid as possible," he said. "For you," he clarified, and I chuckled. "Eyes closed," he reminded me. "I'm going to have to institute a punishment for each time I have to tell you."
"What did you have in mind?"
"Don't tempt me. Now, what are you wearing?"
"A hoodie and drawstring pants too, I guess."
"Anything underneath?"
"I don't typically walk around without underwear."
"Typically?"
"Only on special occasions."
"Christ. I meant under your hoodie."
"A tank top, I guess."
"What color?"
"White tank. Black hoodie. Gray pants. I'm ready to move on now."
I felt him nearer, his words close to my ear. "To the part where I lean back and pull you down with me?"
Yes.
"Over me," he said.
Fuck.
"The part where I tell you that I want to feel the softness of the curls at the nape of your neck? To know what your hipbone would feel like against my mouth?" he murmured against my skin. "To memorize the slope of your navel and the arch of your neck and the swell of your-
Mara, if you're tired, I can hear it. If you're hurt, I can feel it. And if you lie, I will know it.
Michelle HodkinTags: love noah-shaw the-unbecoming-of-mara-dyer
My father might be right. If I lost Noah, I might just lose my mind.
Michelle HodkinTags: mara-dyer noah-shaw michelle-hodkin the-evolution-of-mara-dyer
Two seconds later, the sound of an alarm filled my ears.
''What did you do?'' I said over the noise as he backed up towards the bathroom door.
''The girl who gave you the note?''
''Yes...''
''I caught her staring at my lighter.''
I blinked. ''You gave a child, in a psych ward , a lighter?''
His eyes crinkled at the corners. ''She seemed trustworthy.''
''You're sick,'' I said, but smiled.
''Hey, nobody's perfect. '' Noah smiled back.
Tags: pain love romance funny quotes noah-shaw
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