I shake his hand, and feel the jolt of electricity again from him. He laughs and raises his hand to show me the joy-buzzer in his palm.
Andrew ShafferShe hands me a security badge that says VIRGIN.
Andrew ShafferThe people are so small, they look like ants (although they're Walmart customers, so they look like obese ants).
Andrew ShafferAlice is fictional. This isn't.
Jess C. ScottTags: satire simpsons dark-humor parody groupthink popular-culture short-story zombies group-think pop-culture american-culture sheeple mad-magazine lady-gaga resident-evil south-park zombie-apocalypse parodies
Carlisle says Siobhan's super power was the ability to do whatever the hell she wanted. I swear, that's what Carlisle says. Her super power was the ability to will something into existence. Siobhan wanted the vampire Maggie to stick around with her and Liam, and, POOF, Maggie did, all because Siobhan wanted it. Dr. Cullen theorizes that Bella has a similar power. She's not acting like a typical newborn vampire because Bella decided not to be a typical newborn vampire.
That thud you heard was my brain trying to make a run for it and slamming into my skull. Also, you may hear soft weeping. I'm still crying.
Tags: humor parody breaking-dawn
Chapter Twenty-Four: Surprise
Better Title: Oh My God! I Hate Everything About This Book! I Want To Kill It With Rocks! AGH!
Tags: humor parody twilight breaking-dawn
My inner goddess confirms that staring at a beautiful/rich/powerful face is the basis of True Love.
Jess C. ScottTags: love true-love romance satire drama obsession parody crime-fiction twilight snark social-criticism snarkiness fifty-shades fifty-shades-of-grey snarky-quotes inner-goddess
Because I want to have sex with him--and because that's sinful--I'm blushing and flushing furiously under his scrutinizing scrutiny.
Jess C. ScottTags: sexuality love sex satire drama obsession parody crime-fiction twilight snark social-criticism stephenie-meyer bad-writing fifty-shades e-l-james fifty-shades-of-grey
Penelope had read several novels about such governesses in preparation for her interview and found them chock-full of useful information, although she had no intention of developing romantic feelings for the charming, penniless tutor at a neighboring estate. Or - heaven forbid! - for the darkly handsome, brooding, and extravagantly wealthy master of her own household. Lord Frederick Ashton was newly married in any case, and she had no inkling what his complexion might be
Maryrose WoodTags: parody gothic-fiction governess
If you stand at the window where I stood, if you read the books that I read, if we can be with each other even just like that...then lets, count that as us being together. I'll miss you alot. I love you. I love you...
T.O.PTags: music drama parody bigbang secret-garden
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