I did not have an opportunity to speak privately with Peter until just as he was leaving, when he handed me one of the Burns song-sheets and (with a most earnest look) told me to read it before I went to bed.
The song was 'My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose,' but it was not until was up in my bedchamber that I saw he had written on the inside page: 'My mother would be honoured if you visited her after church tomorrow.
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I saw that he was looking anxious.
'I thought you weren't coming.' As he spoke, he grasped my hand. And if the sight of him had not quite restored the magic, the touch of him most certainly did. 'You're not wishing yourself some place else, Mary?
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After a moment, he added more seriously: 'I don't get as angry as m'father used to about things. Or maybe I', just better at hiding m'feelings.'
'I fear I'm not very good at hiding my feelings.'
He covered my hand with his own. 'That's what I like about you. I liked it from the first. You're so different from the others.
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Before I could reply, he had picked me up, literally swept me off my feet, and kissed me. And afterwards, when I tried to speak, he silenced me in much the same manner. It was a shock (but not at all distasteful) to be so caught up. Later - when he at last set me down - he handled me more gently. He took of my glasses and told me that he loved me.
Jennifer PaynterTags: truth love jane-austen confession pride-and-prejudice lovely gentle tenderness heart-breaking peter-bushell mary-bennet jennifer-paynter
Blessed with the love of a good man, I felt equal to anything - even the prospect of living out my days in the Antipodes.
Jennifer PaynterTags: love jane-austen sacrifice pride-and-prejudice support lucky blessed peter-bushell mary-bennet jennifer-paynter
This made my father laugh. 'Mary made a cake, did she? Well, well. Better that than she should make a cake for herself, I suppose.'
Peter then burst out: 'Why must you always be making a game of Mary? 'Tis not fair; 'tis not sporting.
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Ah yes.' Peter's tone was scornful. 'And they must always be paid before the poor tradesmen's bills, mustn't they?'
'They must indeed. They are debts of honour.'
'Oh, Mary.' He leant over and kissed me quickly. 'What a lot we'll have to argue about after we're married.
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In suiting the action to the words, however, I perceived that the stars were all wrong.
That was my undoing. I had looked up unthinkingly, anticipating the familiar, and, finding it gone, began to cry like a baby. Whereupon Peter stopped the gig and took me in his arms, kissing me so that my face was soon sore both from kissing and crying.
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I lost the letter in rather embarrassing circumstances. We were to dine at Parramatta Government House that same evening, and Peter had come in early from harvesting the wheat, sitting down in all his dirt to read the precious missive. I sat beside him, fresh from my bath. And so handsome did my husband look, long legs sprawled in Dungaree trousers and frowning over my father's spiky hand, that I could not resist reaching out to smooth away the frown. He caught my hand to his lips, still reading, and then chancing to look up, and reading my face more swiftly than he would ever read the written word, pulled me onto his lap.
Jennifer PaynterTags: love jane-austen pride-and-prejudice peter-bushell mary-bennet jennifer-paynter
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