Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit.
Rick RiordanTags: sun humour funny destruction survive snake earthquakes funny-and-random riots riordan tornado sadie-kane tsunamis ra floods carter-kane serpent rebellious giant-snake
If you’re listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday.
I’d like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the giant snake who swallowed the sun—I’m afraid most of that was our fault. Carter and I decided we should at least explain how it happened.
Tags: sun humour funny destruction survive snake earthquakes funny-and-random riots riordan tornado sadie-kane tsunamis ra floods carter-kane serpent rebellious giant-snake
Yes, an actual full-sized camel. If you find that confusing, just think how the criosphinx must have felt.
Where did the camel come from, you ask? I may have mentioned Walt’s collection of amulets. Two of them summoned disgusting camels. I’d
met them before, so I was less than excited when a ton of dromedary flesh flew across my line of sight, plowed into the sphinx, and collapsed on top
of it. The sphinx growled in outrage as it tried to free itself. The camel grunted and farted.
“Hindenburg,” I said. Only one camel could possibly fart that badly. “Walt, why in the world—?”
“Sorry!” he yelled. “Wrong amulet!”
The technique worked, at any rate. The camel wasn’t much of a fighter, but it was quite heavy and clumsy. The criosphinx snarled and clawed
at the floor, trying unsuccessfully to push the camel off; but Hindenburg just splayed his legs, made alarmed honking sounds, and let loose gas.
I moved to Walt’s side and tried to get my bearings.
Tags: sun humour funny destruction survive snake earthquakes funny-and-random riots riordan tornado sadie-kane tsunamis ra floods carter-kane serpent rebellious giant-snake
Bes had indeed put on his ugly outfit. He climbed onto the roof of the limbo and stood there, legs planted, arms akimbo, like superman-exept with only the underwear.
I wasn't sure what to say except: "Put some clothes on!"
"These children are under my protection," Bes insisted.
"I don't know you," I said, "I never met you before today."
"Nonsense. You expressly asked for my attention."
"I didn't ask for the Speedo Patrol!
Tags: humor sadie-kane bes akwardness
I wondered if she'd ever written on her notebook: GEB + NUT = TRUE LOVE or MRS GEB.
Rick RiordanTags: nut sadie-kane
Baboons are very wise animals,” Bast said.
“Agh!” Khufu picked his nose, then turned his Technicolor bum our direction. He threw his friends the ball. They began to fight over it, showing one another their fangs and slapping their heads.
“Wise?” I asked.
Tags: khufu sadie-kane bast
Two farewell gifts," Sadie muttered, "from two gorgeous guys. I hate my life.
Rick RiordanTags: humor romance sadie kane-chronicles kane anubis sadie-kane throne-of-fire walt
possibly, mrs. laird...i'd say. except he's dead, you see. well, not completely dead. he's more of a resurrected god. he judges mortal spirits and feeds the hearts of the wicked to his pet monster.oh, and he has blue skin. i'm sure he'd make quite an impression on career day, for all those students aspiring to grow up and become ancient egyptian deities
serpent's shadow Rick RiordanTags: humor sadie-kane osiris
Normally my sister, Sadie, or some of our other initiates from Brooklyn House would've come with me. But they were all at the First Nome, in Egypt, for a weeklong training session on controlling cheese demons(yes, they're a real thing; believe me, you don't want to know)
Rick RiordanTags: humor sadie-kane carter-kane cheese-demons first-nome
Freak is easily spooked. Flesh-eating monsters tend to scare him away. So do fireworks, clowns, and the smell of Sadie's weird British Ribena drink. (Can't blame him on that last one. Sadie grew up in London and developed some pretty strange tastes.
Rick RiordanTags: freak sadie-kane carter-kane
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