I sighed and deleted the message, imagining the dirty clothes multiplying like rabbits, because that’s what they do when I’m not around.

Alex Owens

Tags: humor sarcasm motherhood

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Oh no. Oh God. I couldn't possibly be so stupid."

"Don't limit yourself. You can be anything you wish.

Tessa Dare

Tags: sarcasm teasing

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He was impugning my virtue. I ought to have been offended, but for some reason the idea tickled me. That could be my next career: instrument of torture! Seducing prisoners, and then revealing my dragon scales! They would confess out of sheer horror.

Rachel Hartman

Tags: sarcasm

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It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.

Jess C. Scott

Tags: cynicism marriage lust sarcasm control cynic cynical married-life control-freaks spouses sarcastic cynical-humor sarcastic-humor lust-for-everything spouse control-issues

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Great,' I said. 'Visit exotic Australia. Get bitten by an exotic snake. Die exotically.

Steven Gould

Tags: humor sarcasm

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Don't waste yer' breath kid. Explainin' anything to that one? It's like tryin' ta' slap the dumb off a retard... -George Foster

S.P. Durnin

Tags: humor sarcasm sarcastic-humor military-humor

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I'm fully aware that some of the stuff I write is going to offend people or p*ss them off. They should be fully aware that I don't really care.

Briana Blair

Tags: humor honesty sarcasm

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Twenty-three stories up and all I could see out the windows was grey smog. They could call it the City of the Angels if they wanted to, but if there were angels out there, they had to be flying blind.

Laurell K. Hamilton

Tags: sarcasm oxymoron best-opening-lines

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He seemed only ... annoyed. Annoyed, and sweaty, and hot.
"Yeah, well," he said, "the next time you decide to sneak out of our magically warded apartment through a door that shouldn't really exist, leave a note.

Cassandra Clare

Tags: humor sarcasm clary-fray jace-wayland the-mortal-instruments cassandra-clare jace-lightwood city-of-lost-souls annoyed leave-a-note

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While Daniel disappeared into his room, probably to limn the contours of some exquisite constellation of philosophical nonsense for his internship applications and gasp in the throes of his overachieving OCDness.

Michelle Hodkin

Tags: sarcasm private-schools

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