Stercus Accidit.
[barren happens]
He just waited until I stopped talking and said, 'Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what's your theory?
John GreenTags: sarcasm police detective
Are you always a smartass?'
Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.
Tags: humor sarcasm impudence smartass
Relationships are so much like the United States - they only really thrive when faced with an external threat.
Laura PedersenTags: politics love usa relationships sarcasm
Let me guess - you're Grumpy?'
He let out a humpf. ' And you would be too, if you'd just spent the last hour searching the forest for your wayward charge.' He walked even faster. 'We tell you to stay inside, we tell you not to talk to strangers. But oh no, you must be out singing to the animals as if the birds didn't do a fine enough job of it. And this after Queen Neferia has already tried to kill you thrice. [...] Which is why you are not to go shopping anymore, no matter how pretty the wares, remember?'
Oh, right.'
[...] when you looked at it that way, Snow White had to be pretty idiotic to keep falling for the same trick.
Tags: snow-white sarcasm fairy-tale grimm
Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese.
Suzanne CollinsTags: sarcasm
Wouldn't want to miss a war, would I?
Alison McGheeI wasn't entirely sure, but a polite John Pritkin might be a sign of the apocalypse.
Karen ChanceTags: sarcasm
I'm telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.'
'I would,' I said, 'but unfortunately, there are no gorgeous, all-powerful, all-knowing gods around here. I'd even settle for a demigod. It's a step down, I know. But alas, there are nothing but low-brained mortals here. And half-brains, like you.
We were in such good moods, we even decided to hit Todd's house for candy. Sam rang the doorbell, and when it opened, this hideous, rubber monster face roared at us. Sam screamed. Todd started laughing and took off the mask. I yelled, "Put it back on! Put it back on! Your hideousness is terrifying!"
Todd did a fake yuk-yuk-yuk at my joke. "What are you guys supposed to be? Is it Prom Night Massacre or something?"
Sam sighed at Todd's obvious stupidity. "We're zombie princesses, Todd. Can't you tell?" She stuck her arms straight out in front of her and said, "BRAINS! BRAINS!"
I patted Sam on the head and said, "Sorry, Sam. You're wasting your time with this one.
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