A man is a penis-wrinkle when calling him a dickhead would be a compliment.
N.M. FacileWhat on earth are you wearing? Did you take orders in a convent since we spoke last? Little Sisters of the Drab and Homely.
Tessa DareIt's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.
Jess C. ScottTags: cynicism marriage lust sarcasm control cynic cynical married-life control-freaks spouses sarcastic cynical-humor sarcastic-humor lust-for-everything spouse control-issues
The worst thing about the dead rising? (Other than, you know, all the zombies?) The smell. Nothing kills the mood like the odor of three day old road kill and poo... -Katherine Anita Cho(KyCH)
S.P. DurninTags: humor humorous sarcastic sarcastic-humor
Educational system in America is not as good as in China. You may be an idiot. It is hard to tell with you white people.
Kate DanleyLittle-known fact about cheerleaders: They keep schedules that would make grown marines cry.
Jennifer Lynn BarnesTags: funny cheerleaders toby sarcastic
I love the sound of it," Trina whispers, as if speaking too loudly might interrupt the drumming patter of the rain outside. "It makes me want to sleep. Snuggle my head right up in your armpit and snore for three days."
"My armpit?" Mark repeats. "Good thing we all showered up in the storm this morning. My pits smell like roses. Go ahead and get comfy.
Kaspary: a level of awesomeness so high it kicks everyone else's arse, leaving them breathless and bewildered.
Abigail GibbsTags: sarcastic kaspar-varn violet-lee
How many kids are in the Graveyard?"
"A bunch."
"Who sends your supplies?"
"George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget."
"How often do you receive new arrivals?"
"About as often as you beat your wife.
Tags: humor sarcasm humorous snark sarcastic risa-ward
We’re automatons in a symphony conducted by a lunatic and performed by blind idealists.” Damon
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