I used to send my characters into a fire that necessarily consumed them, but I have learned, a little, how to send them through the fire to a new place. The characters who do not change — most notably Nakota in Cipher, Bibi in Skin, and Lena in Kink — are motivated by an essential selfishness or self-centeredness, an unwillingness to relinquish control to the process, a refusal to become.
Kathe KojaTags: selfishness control transformation
The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one's narcissism. The narcissistic orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself, while the phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are experienced only from the viewpoint of their being useful or dangerous to one. The opposite pole to narcissism is objectivity; it is the faculty to see other people and things as they are, objectively, and to be able to separate this objective picture from a picture which is formed by one's desires and fears.
Erich FrommTags: love empathy humility psychology understanding selfishness subjective narcissism objective objectivity understanding-oneself-and-others narcissistic
The faculty to think objectively is reason; the emotional attitude behind reason is that of humility. To be objective, to use one's reason, is possible only if one has achieved an attitude of humility, if one has emerged from the dreams of omniscience and omnipotence which one has as a child. Love, being dependent on the relative absence of narcissism, requires the developement of humility, objectivity and reason.
I must try to see the difference between my picture of a person and his behavior, as it is narcissistically distorted, and the person's reality as it exists regardless of my interests, needs and fears.
Tags: love reason compassion empathy humility understanding selfishness reasoning conflict subjective narcissism erich-fromm objective objectivity the-art-of-loving
Selfishness is one of the principal fruits of the corruption of human nature; and it is obvious that selfishness disposes us to over-rate our good qualities, and to overlook or extenuate our defects.
William WilberforceTags: sin selfishness
I don't want you to leave
Which is exactly why I should. But don't worry. I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should.
Tags: selfishness
Selfishness Stops The Flow Of Blessings To You and Others
Brenda Diann JohnsonTags: selfishness others you blessing flow stops
In an individual, selfishness uglifies the soul; for the human species, selfishness is extinction.
David MitchellTags: selfishness
What Douglas had once seen as the attractive over-confidence of youth, now looked more like unyielding selfishness.
Len DeightonTags: love youth selfishness affection ss-gb
When you get born your father and mother lost something out of themselves, and they are going to bust a ham trying to get it back, and you are it. They know they can't get it all back but they will get as big a chunk out of you as they can.
Robert Penn WarrenTags: selfishness parenting
Obviously, the choice between human selfishness and divine Selfishness is not about leaving or not leaving a relationship. More important are the day-to-day opportunities in the course of relationship. It is really the choice of living from the heart or living from fear. And how do you live from fear? Saying "yes" when your heart wants to say "no." Saying "no" when your heart wants to say "yes." By not listening to your heart (i.e., what is best for your soul), you compromise your truth, and cause suffering in the relationship. You may be afraid of hurting your friend. You may be afraid of losing their love and friendship. Whatever it is you are afraid of, it is still fear that is ruling you, rather than love.
Joyce VissellTags: self-help selfishness relationship self-love divine-selfishness romantic-relationship
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