Sleeping on a plank has one advantage - it encourages early rising.
Alexandre DumasTags: sleeping discomfort
...there was a shortage of soft furnishings and I’m sorry to say I was forced to use hard liquor.
D.L. ChristopherTags: sleeping
I had a dream about you. You had no skin or muscle on your face, and to try to conceal your bare skull you liberally applied lipstick and makeup. Your birthday was coming up, and I knew you were probably sensitive about parties that emphasize the aging process, so I decided to box up your gift in a coffin and wrap it with black wrapping paper. I got you the best gift ever too—a hooker, who happened to be dead, because that enabled me to procure a sizeable discount.
Dora J. ArodTags: humor life sleep dreams dreaming relationships funny sleeping
I had a dream about you. You were crying, and I couldn’t tell if it was because you were sad or because you’d been laughing too hard. So I decided to find out by telling you that I’d just heard from the cops, and your mother had been murdered. Before I got to the punch line you started sobbing in a different manner, so I realized you’d been laughing earlier. By that time the mood had changed, and I decided it best not to deliver the punch line after all. So I sat down next to you and put my arm around you and tried to console you for your perceived loss.
Dora J. ArodTags: humor life sleep dreams dreaming relationships funny sleeping
I had a dream about you. You were you, but you were many—a multitude of mannequins, each named Manny. And I was me, but I was Dark Jar Tin Zoo, and as such I made love to you—all of you. Then I woke up alone, naked, cuddling a mannequin I named after you who smells like you, because I spray it with the same fragrance you used to wear. Is that crazy? No, I didn’t think so either.
Dora J. ArodTags: humor life sleep dreams dreaming relationships funny sleeping
I had a dream about you last night.. You were in the amazon rain forest yipping like a dog.
Amy SommersTags: humor life sleep dreams dreaming relationships funny sleeping
I had a dream about you last night... You tried to propose with a digital ceramic heater.
Amy SommersTags: humor life sleep dreams dreaming relationships funny sleeping
I had a dream about you last night... shortly after I woke up screaming in terror.
Amy SommersTags: humor life sleep dreams dreaming relationships funny sleeping
I had a dream about you last night... I was a brick and you were a blanket. Damn that improbability drive.
Nicole RiekhofTags: humor life sleep dreams dreaming relationships funny sleeping
I had a dream about you last night.. You thought you were a candy vampire, you were standing in the sun screaming 'I'm melting.
Nicole RiekhofTags: humor life sleep dreams dreaming relationships funny sleeping
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