For someone like myself in whom the ability to trust others is so cracked and broken that I am wretchedly timid and am forever trying to read the expression on people's faces.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life friendship loneliness trust depression social-anxiety mental-illness human-relationships social-awkwardness
[...] I was afraid to board a streetcar because of the conductor; I was afraid to enter the Kabuki Theater for fear of the usherettes standing along the sides of the red-carpeted staircase at the main entrance; I was afraid to go into a restaurant because I was intimidated by the waiters furtively hovering behind me waiting for my plate to be emptied.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life loneliness paranoia depression social-anxiety mental-illness social-awkwardness
Even now it comes as a shock if by chance I notice in the street a face resembling someone I know however slightly, and I am at once seized by a shivering violent enough to make me dizzy.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life friendship loneliness paranoia friendships depression social-anxiety mental-illness human-relationships social-awkwardness
What is society but an individual? [...] The ocean is not society; it is individuals. This was how I managed to gain a modicum of freedom from my terror at the illusion of the ocean called the world.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life friendship school society people work loneliness paranoia depression social-anxiety mental-illness social-awkwardness
All I feel are the assaults of apprehension and terror at the thought that I am the only one who is entirely unlike the rest. It is almost impossible for me to converse with other people. What should I talk about, how should I say it? - I don't know.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life depression social-anxiety social-awkwardness
He could only consider me as the living corpse of a would-be suicide, a person dead to shame, an idiot ghost.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life friendship death loneliness suicide depression social-anxiety mental-illness social-awkwardness suicidal
Show me what you've written," I said, although I wanted desperately to avoid looking at it.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life friendship love loneliness hypocrisy depression social-anxiety mental-illness social-awkwardness
And I was incapable of living all by myself in those lodgings where I didn't know a soul. It terrified me to sit by myself quietly in my room. I felt frightened, as if I might be set upon or struck by someone at any moment.
Osamu DazaiTags: fear life loneliness paranoia depression social-anxiety mental-illness social-awkwardness
I swear that I will never cause trouble for anybody, as long as I live!! So please! Nobody cause any trouble for me, either!!
Minoru FuruyaTags: fear life society people work living paranoia manga social-anxiety high-school mental-illness
Trains induce such terrible anxiety. They image the possibility of total and irrevocable failure. They are also dirty, rackety, packed with strangers, an object lesson in the foul contingency of life: the talkative fellow-traveller, the possibility of children.
Iris MurdochTags: travel social-anxiety anxiety trains travelling
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