You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: stephanie-plum



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Next time I fall in love it's going to be with someone who isn't an expert in fibbing."
"You're in love with me?"
"You didn't know that?"
"I did, but it's nice to hear."
"Scares the hell out of me.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: stephanie-plum joe-morelli



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My mother had been slicing up the chicken. She took a drumstick and dropped it on the floor. She kicked it around a little, picked it up and put it on the edge of the plate.

"There," she said, "we'll give him this drumstick."

"Deal.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humor stephanie-plum



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It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight." - Stephanie Plum

Janet Evanovich

Tags: stephanie-plum lula



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...I blink back the threat of tears, swiped at my nose and narrowed my eyes. "Listen to me, you two bags of monkey shit, "I yelled. "I am not in a good mood. My car keeps stalling. The day before yesterday I threw up on Joe Morelli. I was called a fat cow by my ex-husband. And if that isn't enough...my hair is ORANGE! ORANGE, FOR CHRISSAKE! And now you have the gall to force yourself into my home and threaten my hamster. Well, you have gone too far. You have crossed the line!

Janet Evanovich

Tags: hilarious stephanie-plum



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In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: funny mystery stephanie-plum



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I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?

Janet Evanovich

Tags: funny mystery stephanie-plum



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Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: ranger stephanie-plum



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Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humorous stephanie-plum



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Why do you give me cars?"
"It's fun," Ranger said."And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you safe is important to me?"
"You love me?"
"Yes."
A sigh inadvertently escaped. "We're really screwed up, aren't we?"
"In a very large way," Ranger said.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: ranger stephanie-plum sizzling-sixteen



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