loneliness is a bitter, wretched companion. sometimes it just won't let go.
Tahereh MafiTags: tahereh-mafi unravel-me
its like a button in my brain is broken, like i've developed a disease that forces me to apologize for everything, for existing, for wanting more than what i've been given, and i can't stop.
Tahereh MafiTags: tahereh-mafi unravel-me
i'm always apologizing. forever apologizing. for who i am and what i never meant to be and for this body i was born into, this DNA i never asked for, this person i can't unbecome.
Tahereh MafiTags: tahereh-mafi unravel-me
You sick piece of shit," Adam says to him, his voice low, measured.
"Such unfortunate language." Warner shakes his head. "Only those who cannot express themselves intelligently would resort to such crude substitutions in vocabulary.
Tags: tahereh-mafi unravel-me
We're running out of time, he said.
As if time were the kind of thing you could run out of, as if it were measured into bowls that were handed to us at birth and if we ate too much or too fast or right before jumping into the water then our time would be lost, wasted, already spent.
But time is beyond our finite comprehension. It's endless, it exists outside of us; we cannot run out of it or lose track of it or find a way to hold on to it. Time goes on even when we do not.
We have plenty of time, is what Castle should have said. We have all the time in the world, is what he should have said to me. But he didn't because what he meant tick tock is that our time tick tock is shifting. It's hurtling forward heading in an entirely new direction slamming face-first into something else and
tick
tick
tick
tick
tick
it's almost
time for war
Tags: life reality time castle tahereh-mafi juliette-ferrars unravel-me juliette-chronicles
I have a heart, says science, but I am a monster, says society.
Tahereh MafiTags: tahereh-mafi unravel-me
We are synonyms but not the same.
Tahereh MafiTags: tahereh-mafi unravel-me aaron-warner-anderson adam-kent
I want to know where to touch you, I want to know how to touch you.
Tahereh MafiTags: shatter-me tahereh-mafi unravel-me
We don’t have to do anything at all to die.
We can hide in a cupboard under the stairs our whole life and it’ll still find us. Death will show up wearing an invisible cloak and it will wave a magic wand and whisk us away when we least expect it. It will erase every trace of our existence on this earth and it will do all this work for free. It will ask for nothing in return. It will take a bow at our funeral and accept the accolades for a job well done and then it will disappear.
Living is a little more complex. There’s one thing we always have to do.
Breathe.
In and out, every single day in every hour minute and moment we must inhale whether we like it or not. Even as we plan to asphyxiate our hopes and dreams still we breathe. Even as we wither away and sell our dignity to the man on the corner we breathe. We breathe when we’re wrong, we breathe when we’re right, we breathe even as we slip off the ledge toward an early grave. It cannot be undone.
So I breathe.
I count all the steps I’ve climbed toward the noose hanging from the ceiling of my existence and I count out the number of times I’ve been stupid and I run out of numbers.
Tags: tahereh-mafi unravel-me
All I know is that it’ll never be safe for me to rely on someone else again, to need constant reassurance of who I am and who I might someday be. I can love him, but I can’t depend on him to be my backbone. I can’t be my own person if I constantly require someone else to hold me together.
Tahereh MafiTags: tahereh-mafi
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