Shut up sergeant. You're a free troll. That's an order"
Sam Vimes
Tags: terry-pratchett sam-vimes the-fifth-elephant
Vimes took the view that life was so full of things happening erraticaly in all directions, that the chance of any of them making some kind of relevant sense were remote in the extreme.
Terry PratchettTags: terry-pratchett
That just goes to show that you never know, although what it is we never know I suspect we'll never know.
Terry PratchettTags: discworld terry-pratchett vimes
The important thing is not to shout at this point, Vimes told himself. Do not…what do they call it…go postal? Treat this as a learning exercise. Find out why the world is not as you thought it was. Assemble the facts, digest the information, consider the implications. THEN go postal. But with precision.
Terry PratchettTags: terry-pratchett vimes thud
No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.
Terry PratchettTags: terry-pratchett
You know it’s going to be Mary the Maid, or someone like her, and there’s going to be two men and she will end up with the nice one, and there has to be misunderstandings, and they never do anything more than kiss and it’s absolutely guaranteed that, for example, an exciting civil war or an invasion by trolls or even a scene with any cooking in it is not going to happen. The best you can expect is a thunderstorm.
Terry PratchettTags: romance-novels terry-pratchett glenda-sugarbean
Have - have you got an appointment?' he said.
'I don't know,' said Carrot. 'Have we got an appointment?'
'I've got an iron ball with spikes on,' Nobby volunteered.
'That's a morningstar, Nobby.'
'Is it?'
'Yes,' said Carrot. 'An appointment is an engagement to see someone, while a morningstar is a large lump of metal used for viciously crushing skulls. It is important not to confuse the two, isn't it, Mr-?' He raised his eyebrows.
'Boffo, sir. But-'
'So if you could perhaps run along and tell Dr Whiteface we're here with an iron ball with spi- What am I saying? I mean, without an appointment to see him? Please? Thank you.
Tags: discworld pratchett carrot terry-pratchett men-at-arms carrot-ironfoundersson corporal-carrot
It wasn't by eliminating the impossible that you got at the truth, however improbable; it was by the much harder process of eliminating the possibilities. You worked away, patiently asking questions and looking hard at things. You walked and talked, and in your heart you just hoped like hell that some bugger's nerve'd crack and he'd give himself up.
Terry PratchettTags: discworld pratchett terry-pratchett vimes sam-vimes feet-of-clay
A skeleton, even a walking one, is at least human; Death of a sort lurks inside every living creature.
Terry PratchettTags: death neil-gaiman terry-pratchett good-omens
Wolves hate werewolves.'
'What? That can't be right! When she's wolf-shaped she's just like a wolf!'
'So? When she's human-shaped she's just like a human. And what's that got to do with anything? Humans don't like werewolves. Wolves don't like werewolves. People don't like wolves that can think like people, an' people don't like people who can act like wolves. Which just goes to show that people are the same everywhere.' said Gaspode. He assessed this sentence and added, 'Even when they're wolves.
Tags: discworld wolves pratchett werewolves terry-pratchett gaspode
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