I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

G.K. Chesterton

Tags: humor books mind wit attention



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Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: humor wit homosexuality dorothy-parker heterosexuality



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There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and
shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you
know ain't so'.

Mark Twain

Tags: humor faith wit



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My country, right or wrong,” is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, “My mother, drunk or sober.

G.K. Chesterton

Tags: patriotism wit



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To have a viable civilization, people have to have a benign government, a semblance of education, spare time, imagination, and manners

Jonathan Chamberlain Williams

Tags: wit



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Hey, have you heard that one about the difference between me, Wit, and my loutish cousin, Hilarity? No? Okay, so I walk into a bar, you see, very unassuming, and order a martini. Then the bartender, Hilarity, hauls off and squirts me in the face with a seltzer bottle, ruining my n ice new camel hair suit, dousing my monocle and my watch fob, soaking my cravat. So, do I let him have what for, and blow my top? I do not. I simply say:
Sorry, I believe I said 'very dry'.

Chip Kidd

Tags: wit hilarity monocles



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A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tags: humor melancholy wit depression



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In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.

Graydon Carter

Tags: humor politics wit



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Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing.

Joss Whedon

Tags: humor food wit survival



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There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome."
"And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody."
"And yours," he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them.

Jane Austen

Tags: education hatred wit character dislike retort defects misunderstanding propensity repartee



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