I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw.
Jeff LindsayTags: witty smart dark-humor blood dexter
I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.
Brian CelioSays O'Sullivan to me, "Mr. Fay, I'll have a word wid yeh?" "Certainly," says I; "what can I do for you?" "Sell me your sea- boots, Mr. Fay," says O'Sullivan, polite as can be. "But what will you be wantin' of them?" says I. "'Twill be a great favour," says O'Sullivan. "But it's my only pair," says I; "and you have a pair of your own," says I. "Mr. Fay, I'll be needin' me own in bad weather," says O'Sullivan. "Besides," says I, "you have no money." "I'll pay for them when we pay off in Seattle," says O'Sullivan. "I'll not do it," says I; "besides, you're not tellin' me what you'll be doin' with them." "But I will tell yeh," says O'Sullivan; "I'm wantin' to throw 'em over the side." And with that I turns to walk away, but O'Sullivan says, very polite and seducin'-like, still a-stroppin' the razor, "Mr. Fay," says he, "will you kindly step this way an' have your throat cut?" And with that I knew my life was in danger, and I have come to make report to you, sir, that the man is a violent lunatic.
Jack LondonTags: humor funny sea comedy witty sailor ship
Don't worry about it; only worry about how people like her breed.
GasmaskmanTags: humor dark sarcasm witty
I hope that the kind reader recognises this as a despairing attempt at humour.
Nancy SpringerTags: funny mysteries witty holmes springer enola nancy
Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.
Oliver GoldsmithTags: humor questions lies wit sarcasm witty ask
Papa, I'm ashamed that you think women are so simple. We can make decisions for ourselves too, you know. I'm not a child or a baby anymore, so I'm allowed to speak my mind. And if you don't wish to hear it, just tell me so and I'll go into another room-but I'll speak it anyway. I want this for myself as much as I've never wanted the diplomatic corps and I'm going to get it-even if I have to do it alone. Excuse me.
Steve KlugerTags: women determination witty my-most-excellent-year
Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia.
Mervyn PeakeTags: life death gormenghast funny living life-lessons witty onomatopoeia fleet out-of-context
Which just goes to show, I guess, that dinner parties are like everything else - not as fragile as we think they are.
Julie PowellIt is, in the imagination of combat's fans, the divinely listless loveplay that follows the orgasm of victory. It is called 'mopping up.
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.Tags: witty
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