[She] was made up of skin and bones and hate and crazy, and hate and crazy don't weigh anything.
Barry LygaJazz spent a chunk of the day fantasizing about ways to kill his grandmother, plotting them and planning them in the most excruciating, gruesome detail his imagination would allow. It turned out his imagination allowed quite a bit. He spent the rest of the day convincing himself--over and over--not to do it.
Barry LygaYou won't even know you've crossed the line until it's way back in your rearview mirror.
Barry Lyga...called nine-one-one," Howie was saying, "and then I heard something in the alleyway, so I went back there and" --Howie coughed-- "and valiantly attacked his knife with my guts, to no avail."
"Did you get a good look at him? Could you describe him?"
Howie smiled wanly. "Yeah. He was about yay long" --he held up his hands, four inches apart-- "thin, made of steel. Pointy. Sharp.
Mots clés humor
He moved to run a hand through her cornrows, then pulled back remembering the one time he's tried that-Connie had lectured him on the Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not touch thy black girlfriend's hair. Ever.
Barry LygaKevin: 'Hey, Dad. How do you stop people from being stupid?'
Dad: 'You don't.'
Kevin: 'Really?'
Dad: 'I've tried to explain to people when they're being stupid, but then I realized something: Most people like being stupid.'
Kevin: 'I don't get it.'
Dad: 'Some people just prefer it. It makes their lives easier if they let other people think for them.'
Kevin: 'But that doesn't make sense. That's just stu...Oh...
He turns to the Council. 'Sounds like Foolish behavior to me, boys. I hereby nominate the human race for membership in the Council of Fools!' He raises both arms and shouts to the sky. 'Humanity! Join us! Join your masters! All opposed, say nay!"
And then nothing but silence and Flip's panting as he strains, listening.
'There are no dissenting votes!' he cries. 'I hereby admit humanity to the Council of Fools!' He punches the air in triumph. 'Dude,' he says, grinning, 'I just upped our membership by six billion. Not bad, huh?
...She's not buying [the lie], but there's nothing else on the shelves.
Barry LygaIn a way, i feel sorry for boys. They're weak. You show them boobs or a butt and they just fall apart.
But I feel sorry for girls, too. Because girls get screwed, even when they're not naked with a guy. Everyone hates girls--even other girls. I mean, "girl" is like an insult, you know? "That's so girly." "Stop being a girl." "You're like a little girl."
Hey, you know what? I was a little girl once and I kicked ass. I was awesome.
Dr. Kennedy talked me out of killing myself--for now--without saying a single words or even knowing what was going on. Which, I've decided, is the mark of a totally kick-ass therapist.
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