Where am I going and why am I in this handbasket? ~Bumper sticker~

Darynda Jones

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I hardly loathe myself. Have you seen my ass?

Darynda Jones

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Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said.
"Okay."
"One, are you sitting down?"
"Yes."
"Two, are you mentally stable?"
"More than you'll ever be."
Well, that was uncalled for. "And three, how do you spell schizophrenia?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.

Darynda Jones

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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones

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You totally need to watch the news."
"Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.

Darynda Jones

Mots clés humor news

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Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt)

Darynda Jones

Mots clés humorous-quotations

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Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)

Darynda Jones

Mots clés humorous-quotations

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He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.

Darynda Jones

Mots clés humor men nakedness

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He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.

Darynda Jones

Mots clés humor

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If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you. (BUMPER STICKER)

Darynda Jones

Mots clés humorous-quotations

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