Smee! Raise the Ladies!

Dave Barry

Mots clés humor nonsense

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There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater,you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent.

Dave Barry

Mots clés thoughtful ocean deep judging looking-deeper

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Can we move this conversation along, I'm getting frightfully tired of 'how'.

Dave Barry

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If, when you talk to people, they keep backing away from you, it's because you're TOO CLOSE, alright? SO DON'T KEEP ADVANCING ON THEM LIKE A HUMAN GLACIER.

Dave Barry

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Thus the white men and Native Americans were able, through the spirit of goodwill and compromise, to reach the first in what would become a long series of mutually beneficial, breached agreements that enabled the two cultures to coexist peacefully for stretches of twenty and sometimes even thirty days, after which it was usually necessary to negotiate new agreements that would be even more mutual and beneficial, until eventually the Native Americans were able to perceive the vast mutual benefits of living in rock-strewn sectors of South Dakota.

Dave Barry

Mots clés us-history native-americans aboriginals

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...when the armed robber of unhappiness knocks over the Keebler cookie display of our complacency, and bangs the samurai sword of negativity on the checkout counter of our dreams, we must not be afraid to hurl the fruit cocktail can of hope.

Dave Barry

Mots clés humor

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Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.

Dave Barry

Mots clés writing funny

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Someone was tapping on the window.

Dave Barry

Mots clés lord-aster peter-and-the-starcatchers peter-and-the-sword-of-mercy starcatchers

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Leonard Aster thanked Fighting Prawn and the Mollusk tribe for their hospitality.
“You mean,” said Fighting Prawn, “for not killing you?”
“Yes,” said Leonard. “It was very gracious of you.”
“Do you,” said Leonard, “I mean, does you tribe, shake hands?”
“No,” said Fighting Prawn. “We kiss on the lips.”
“Oh,” said Leonard, looking very alarmed.

Dave Barry

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He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.

Dave Barry

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