I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.

Ellen DeGeneres

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You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic. No wonder I drink so much! Then I get so drunk, I can barely feed the baby.

That's what I call myself when I'm drunk, "The Baby.

Ellen DeGeneres

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The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.

Ellen DeGeneres

Mots clés humanity universe aliens earth outer-space

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Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

Ellen DeGeneres

Mots clés pointlessness

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I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.

Ellen DeGeneres

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When life gives you lemons....they could really be oranges.

Ellen DeGeneres

Mots clés television-show

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I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

Ellen DeGeneres

Mots clés humor funny lol godmothers

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If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn't done anything? They should use prisoners who have been convicted of murder or rape instead. So, rather than seeing if perfume irritates a bunny rabbit's eyes, they should throw it in Charles Manson's eyes and ask him if it hurts.

Ellen DeGeneres

Mots clés animals ethics animal-rights animal-cruelty vegan veganism animal-welfare cosmetics prisoners animal-testing

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My life is perfect even when it's not.

Ellen DeGeneres

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Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it's different from what your neighbors believe in and different from what your parents believe in. Stay true to yourself. Have your own opinion. Don't worry about what people say about you or think about you. Let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying.

Ellen DeGeneres

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