Stop the planet. I want to get off.

Janet Evanovich

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Tastykakes are just another of the many advantages of living in Jersey. They’re made in Philly and shipped to Trenton in all their fresh squishiness. I read once that 439,000 Butterscotch Krimpets are baked every day. And not a heck of a lot of them find their way to New Hampshire. All that snow and scenery and what good does it do you without Tastykakes?

Janet Evanovich

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I wasn’t a fabulous cook. I didn’t have a boyfriend, much less a husband. And I wasn’t a big financial success. I could live with all those failings as long as I knew that once in a while I looked really hot.

Janet Evanovich

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Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.

Janet Evanovich

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Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

Janet Evanovich

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I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you’re bent over about the color, don’t leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want.

Janet Evanovich

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My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco,

Janet Evanovich

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I wasn’t sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others.

Janet Evanovich

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In my father’s scheme of things, there were Italians and then there was the rest of the world.

Janet Evanovich

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Cripes, I can’t keep up on this political correct shit. I don’t even know what to call myself. One minute I’m black. Then I’m African American. Then I’m a person of color. Who the hell makes these rules up, anyhow?

Janet Evanovich

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