If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?

Jarod Kintz


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Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time.

Jarod Kintz


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His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie?

Jarod Kintz


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Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment.

Jarod Kintz


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I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed in a trunk and dropped off in the middle of the forest. My dad was a complex man, but I believe he was trying to show me the value of camping.

Jarod Kintz


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I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing.

Jarod Kintz


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Sometimes I ask myself, "Do I have the courage to do the right thing when it matters most?" And that answer, I'm afraid, is silence.

Jarod Kintz


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Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by.

Jarod Kintz


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When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you with my clone in a dream, I saw the future.

Jarod Kintz


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I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.

Jarod Kintz


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