A brick could be used as a sex toy. Well, I say sex toy, but the politician strapped to the bed would probably say torture device.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used like a duck could be used like a cat. My duck soup is meowing to be manhandled by a construction worker.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to declare war on a country made of glass. I’ll bet those citizens would love to drink vodka dyed blue like window cleaner.
Jarod KintzWhen red fights with white, pink is always the winner. Let that be a lesson in love.
Jarod KintzThey should make bubblegum that tastes like mashed potatoes. You know, for lovers.
Jarod KintzMy ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled—or told him I loved him.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to express my condolences. I’m sorry to have to tell you I’m sorry, but that’s life, you know?
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to decorate the interior of your anus. Here, bend over and let me demonstrate.
Jarod KintzWith friends like me, who needs mannequins? My love for you is statuesque. Come, let us dance like we’re made of stone.
Jarod KintzI cried at the funeral. It wasn’t because I loved her, it was because I was there, in the front pew at the church, chopping onions.
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