A blanket could be used to say hello to a man who’s not only tone deaf, but also regular deaf. Just wave the blanket up and down, and be advised: If that blanket is red, he’s liable to charge you like a bull. I’d charge you too, if only I had your credit card information.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used for selfish reasons. I would list those reasons, but they’re mine—all of them. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to not be used. Is my hair waving in the wind, or are your eyes twitching?
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used, or it could not be used. They are opposites, but that doesn’t mean one is good and the other is bad.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to remind you. I would remind you of what you need to be reminded about, but that’s not my role—that’s the brick’s place.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used for anti-population-control purposes. Get naked and get under the blanket and I’ll show you how it works.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to separate two types of people. On the left is a guy who loves my writing, and on the right is a girl who loves my writing. Now I love both people, but I love the girl in an entirely different way—the kind of way that involves a blanket.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used as a pettable non-furry and non-meowing cat.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to sell a blanket, in a buy one get one free situation. It doesn’t matter if it’s rubble, if it’s free people want it.
Jarod KintzA brick could be placed on your child’s cafeteria lunch tray, in place of the less appetizing and more unnatural food they normally serve.
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