A brick could be used to wade into dangerous territory with a man named Wade who builds houses made only of wood. But if you’re going to play with fire, I suggest you wear a blanket made out of oven mitts.


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A blanket could be used to what the hell your way out of your neighbor’s bedroom.

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A blanket could be used to reaffirm your faith in God, though I’d suggest using something a little firmer, like a brick.


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I am the Magic Chicken of Desire. Just add water. And a brick and a blanket.


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A brick could be used to start a civil war. And then that same brick could be used to start building the country up again after everything is destroyed.


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A blanket could be used for a soft opening of a new casino. The softer the better, I always say. Well, I don’t always say that. I say other stuff too.


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A brick could be used to dink like a dunk, if the thunk of the think has enough verticalocity to it.


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A brick could be used to show support for your favorite team. They want to crush their opponents, and if you’ve got the arm strength and accuracy, you should do everything in your power to help them do just that. 


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A brick could be used to make it harder for people to achieve their dreams. A brick is just another obstacle they have to overcome if they are going to achieve their goals.


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A blanket could be used to tell people a thousand miles and a thousand years away hello. Greetings European people of 3013! I hope you still speak Europe and can understand not a word of what I am saying.


Jarod Kintz


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