Silence! I kill you!

Jeff Dunham

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Peanut: Just last week I was lying in bed and I woke up sobbing 'I will never be happy until we return to SA-NA-TA-ANA!' And now we're here! Thank you for bringing me!

Jeff Dunham

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Jeff: There's a lot of history in this city...
Peanut: Translated: Old. As. Shit.

Jeff Dunham

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Jeff: Are you married?
Bubba J.: Yep.
Jeff: Your wife pretty?
Bubba J.: Ye... no!
Jeff: What's the difference?
Bubba J.: The light.

Jeff Dunham

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You're the other white meat!

Jeff Dunham

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Jeff: You know most people who've had near death experiances say they say a white light. What did you see?

Akmed: I saw flying car parts!


Jeff: What was the last thing that went through your mind?


Akmed: My ass. But I saw a blue Prius! Is it true you have one of those? Did you know that if your driving down the highway in a Prius and you stick your hand out the window the car will turn?!

Jeff Dunham

Mots clés comady

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PENUT:and when you really think about its jef-f-f Dunham
JEFF: F-F
PENUT:your using an unneeded F
Jef-f-f Dun- Ham. com!!!!!
Am i pissing you of-f-f????? Jef-f-f Dun Ham.com
PENUT: you know the wierd thing is i am actually pissing him off!!!and he would like to kill me
JEFF:no i wouldn't
PENUT:yes
JEFF:no
PENUT:assert you fellings Jef-f-f

Jeff Dunham

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Jeff-did you guys have a good day?
Jose-no
Jeff-why
Jose-he got my stick jammed in the car door
Jeff-what?did you say sorry
Jose- no
Jeff- why didn't you say sorry
Jose- cause he couldn't breath
Jeff-why couldn't he breath
Jose- cause he was laughing to hard

Jeff Dunham

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Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today?
Peanut: Yes we had a great day!
Jose: No we did not.
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No we did not have a good day.
Peanut: Yes we hhhaad...a great frickin' day!
What?
Jeff: Did you have a good day?
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No
Peanut: Shut up
Jeff: A good day?
Peanut: Yes
Jose: No
Peanut: Shut up
Jeff: You're supposed to have taken him to the spa.
Peanut: I took him to the spa!
Jose: He put me in the vegetable steamer.
Peanut: It's the same thing!!!

Jeff Dunham

Mots clés humor comedian jeff-dunham jose-jalapeno-on-a-stick peanut

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Peanut: Come here puppet boy... make your daddy talk!

Jeff Dunham

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