Sometimes the best thing that can happen to a person is to have a puppy lick your face.

Joan Bauer


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Mom's note on the dining room table to me and Faith read:

Daughters of mine,
In case you haven't noticed, no one has seen the top of our dining room table in months. I seem to recall it is oak, but as the days dwindle by, I'm less and less sure. Perhaps this is because your school books, files, papers, magazines, letters, underwear, etc., are shielding it from normal use. My goal for you, dear offspring, to be accomplished in twenty-four hours (no excuses), is the clearing/exhuming of this space so that we may gather around it once again and spend quality time. Even though I am working the night shift, I will still be watching. Do it or die.

Your loving mother

Joan Bauer


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She shoved her can right under his chin. "Don't mess with seniors," she growled at him.

Joan Bauer


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Mother, this is a confidential business discussion. I hardly think that your driver can add anything noteworthy."

I could kick you in the stomach, I thought, moving toward the couch. I could drag you across Texas by your pointy ears.

Joan Bauer


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Elden started toward me, "I think that's enough!"

The man I almost knocked down bolted from his chair and shouted, "Let her speak!"

Yield, rat boy!

Joan Bauer


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People are so cheap. Everyone wants quality, no one wants to pay for it. Here's the suburban dream-- to hire great workers who are such meek morons that they don't have the guts to ask for a living wage.

Joan Bauer

Mots clés humor truth



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Almost.
It’s a big word for me.
I feel it everywhere.
Almost home.
Almost happy.
Almost changed.
Almost, but not quite.
Not yet.
Soon, maybe.
I’m hoping hard for that.

Joan Bauer


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You don't understand how much light you've got until the lights go out

Joan Bauer


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Perchance, I would listen. Have you said anything?

Joan Bauer


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You've got to love yourself with all your short comings, and you've got to love the world no matter how bad it gets.

Joan Bauer


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