They’re never going to change. You gotta get that into your head. What they did up there? They’ll keep doing that forever. You know why? Because they’re withholders. That’s what power is all about. Not giving people what they want. So you know what that means? It means you’ve got to stop wanting. Stop wanting them to love you, or be proud of you, or whatever it is you’re after. ’Cause you’re not gonna get it.
Kirsty EagarAt seventeen, I’m in-between. Staring at the carnival from a distance. Not sure if I want to go forward and become an adult; liking the view too much to turn back.
Kirsty EagarIn normal families, unbroken families, the mother and the father are like two hands cupped together, and held by those hands are the children. In my family, the hands have pulled apart and the children have been dropped. If one parent isn’t looking after you, they just assume the other one is. You find out you don’t really belong anywhere.
Kirsty EagarArt is a kind of rapture. Surrender enough, you find truth.
Kirsty EagarAs if the ocean cares that it’s been zoned residential – what the sea wants, the sea shall have.
Kirsty EagarRidiculous really, when you think that I come from a broken home and I probably have low self-esteem. But the way I see it, people who go around spending themselves easily don’t have low self-esteem. They have really high self-esteem. If someone like me tried to live like that, there’d be nothing left. I don’t know. It’s complicated. The girls who roll with guys like this are gorgeous. Somehow that makes them immune to being reduced.
Kirsty EagarKind of hard to forget a bruise exists when you’re prodding at it.
Kirsty EagarIt’s funny to me that power comes from sitting behind a desk. It should come from spending yourself.
Kirsty EagarBut I do agree with Mr Findlay about one thing: I am desperate to paint, so it’s probably time to start. Because you can plan all you want, but most of the time, the ideas come when you’re working. And no matter how much you try to control it, you’ll still paint it wrong before you paint it right.
Kirsty EagarWithout wonder, you are dead and I am older. The girl in the mirror looks devastated. Like someone really has pushed a brick through her ribcage.
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