I've been so used to thinking of what the borders are keeping out that I haven't considered that they're also penning us in.
Lauren OliverMice? Fine. Flying mice? Not so fine.
Lauren OliverBecause?' I prompt
'Because I'm sorry, but I can't help it, and I really need to kiss you right now.
They say the cure is about happiness, but I understand now that it isn't, and it never was. It's about fear: fear of pain, fear of hurt, fear, fear, fear - a blind animal existence, bumping between walls, shuffling between ever-narrowing hallways, terrified and dull and stupid.
Lauren OliverOne of the strangest things about life is that it will chug on, blind and oblivious, even as your private world - your little carved-out sphere - is twisting and morphing, even breaking apart. One day you have parents; the next day you're an orphan. One day you have a place and a path. The next day you're lost in the wilderness.
And still the sun rises and clouds mass and drift and people shop for groceries and toilets flush and blinds go up and down. That's when you realize that most of it - life, the relentless mechanism of existing - isn't about you. It doesn't include you at all. It will thrust onward even after you've jumped the edge. Even after you're dead.
I don't know whether these feelings - this thing growing inside of me - is something horrible and sick or the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Either way, I can't stop it. I've lost control. And the truly sick thing is that despite everything, I'm glad.
The deadliest of all deadly things: It kills you both when you have it and
when you don’t.
I’ve always hated being looked at.
Lauren OliverBut it does not tell you this: that love will turn the
whole world into something greater than itself.
It's surprisingly nice out here, peaceful and pretty-strange to be standing in the middle of a little garden while enclosed by the massive stone walls of the prison, like being at the exact center of a hurricane, and finding peace and silence in the middle of so much shrieking damage.
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