I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Lewis Grizzard


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Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

Lewis Grizzard


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Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

Lewis Grizzard


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I was afraid they kept the hogs in a pen out behind the hospital. I've been prepared for surgery and the doctor says to an orderly, 'Leon, go out to the hog pen and get me a valve.

Lewis Grizzard


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The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.

Lewis Grizzard

Mots clés humor drinking commercialism



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Chilli dawgs always bark at night.

Lewis Grizzard

Mots clés food



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Shoot low, boys. They're ridin' Shetland ponies.

Lewis Grizzard


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When my love comes back from the ladies' room, will I be too old to care?

Lewis Grizzard


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Life is like a dog sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

Lewis Grizzard


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On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.

Lewis Grizzard

Mots clés new-york-city



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