it is amazin, she thinks, how simple appearances can be created - a rush, a smile, a new coat of paint, a slow, calm voice, a hug, a new dress - a resolve to keep out questions and cling to secrets
Mary E. Pearsonwhat's fate to you, opal? she asks.
opal leans back, too. oh, lots of things. lots and lots of things all pushed up against each other that makes something else happen. so much pushing it just can't happen any other way - unless you push back to make it not.
as a child she thought if she could just pull away the fence they would turn back into the beautiful horses they really were and escape to the old plains. she had hope in that power
Mary E. Pearsonexcept for the muffled strum of her fingers against metal, the house is still, quiet, but then she hears another sound, this one coming from deep within. a numbing furrow slides through her soul, sliding into her brain, a furrow that seperates one part of her heart from the other. and then it goes quiet agani.
Mary E. Pearsonshe whispers it aloud, 'lorelei.' the sound makes her ache, makes the word even more beautiful, even more real.
Mary E. Pearson...like it better, nothing like sunshine dried right into your clothes.
Mary E. PearsonI almost could.
I could almost leave and never look back.
Like Mr. Bender, I could leave everything I was behind, including my name.
Leave because of Allys
and all the things she says I am.
Leave because of all the things I am afraid that I will never be again.
Leave, because maybe I’m not enough.
Leave because of Allys, Senator Harris, and half the world knows better than Father and Mother and maybe Ethan, too.
Leave.
Because the old Jenna was so absorbed in her own needs
that she said yes when she knows she should have said no,
and the shame of night
could be hidden in a new place behind a new name.
But friends are complicated.
There is the staying.
Staying because of Kara and Locke and all that they will never
be except trapped.
Staying because for them, time is running out and I am their
their last chance.
Staying for the old Jenna and all she owes Kara and Locke and maybe all the new Jenna owes them, too.
Staying because of ten percent and all I hope I might be.
Staying because of Mr. Bender’s erased life and regrets.
Staying for connection.
Staying because two me
is enough to make one of me
worth nothing at all.
And staying because maybe Lily does love the new Jenna
as much as the old one, after all.
Because maybe, given time, people do change,
maybe laws change.
Maybe we all change.
How many hours can one person spend locked in a bathroom, looking at skin, hair, eyes. Feeling fingers, toes. And the absurdity of a belly button?
Mary E. PearsonMultiple closets for different needs. Overkill.
Mary E. PearsonIt doesn’t matter how rich or important you are. Everyone’s in the same boat. And medical resources and costs are kept under control.”
“What about brains?” Ethan asks. “What are they worth?”
“Brains are pretty much illegal.
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