Life is a nightmare.

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I just want to not be me.

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My brain was all right back then; it didn't get stuck in ruts.

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And that was the closest I've ever come to an epiphany.

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That made me happy. That was my Anchor.

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Depression starts slow.

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What am I always going to do? I'm going to go home and freak out.I'm going to sit with my family and try not to talk about myself and what's wrong. Im going to try and eat. Then I'm going to try and sleep. I dread it. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?

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That's all I can do. I'll keep at it and hope it gets better.

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Yes, Doctor. I'll do what you say. I'll do what you all say.

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I've had good moments scattered since then, times when I thought I was better, but that was the last day I felt triumphant.

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