In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.

Stephen Colbert

Mots clés humor children

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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.

Stephen Colbert

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...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.

Stephen Colbert

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The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun

Stephen Colbert

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So, if I'm no cheerleader of sports, why write a chapter about it? Sports do have some positive impact on society. They solve problems, such as how to get inner-city kids to spend $175 on shoes. They serve as a backdrop for some of our most memorable commercials. And they remain the one and only relevant application of math. Not only that, but we have sports to thank for most of the last century's advances in manliness. The system starts in school, where gym class separates the men from the boys. Then those men are taught to be winners, or at least, losers that hate themselves.

Stephen Colbert

Mots clés funny

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So my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientists—they'd probably implant it in a baboon. And a baboon with my heart would be practically unstoppable. Baboon strength and agility combined with my determination and media savvy? It would be a threat to all of humanity.

Stephen Colbert

Mots clés funny

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It’s clear that when we’re this outnumbered by the creatures, we have to take a page from the British Empire and rule the lesser species through intimidation. That’s why the single most important thing you can do as a human is to dominate an animal. Need more proof?
“Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living
creature that moves on the ground.” I’d say that about covers it.

Stephen Colbert

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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.

Stephen Colbert

Mots clés humor politics

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Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Stephen Colbert

Mots clés humor atheist agonosic

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What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

Stephen Colbert

Mots clés humor politics puns karl-marx

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