I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it’s good for me, it’s the perfect way to start the day.
Steve CarellWe stole the Statue of Liberty…!
[the minions cheer]
…the small one, from Las Vegas!”
[the cheers stop] — as Gru
You may look around, and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don’t see it that way. You know why not? Because I am collar-blind.
Steve CarellI am a crazy, rabid squirrel! I want my cookies!” — Hammy, the Squirrel
Steve CarellI'm an early bird and I'm an owl. So I'm wise and I have worms.
Steve CarellThe White House reception committee greeted the Prime Ribroast Minister and… I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl. I lik-a do da cha-cha. I’m sorry we seem to be having some technical difficulties.” — Evan Baxter
Steve CarellWikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.
Steve CarellHe turned the gun sideways! That’s a kill shot!
Steve CarellJoan Baxter (Lauren Graham): “You want to build a boat?”
Evan Baxter: “It might be something fun for the family. Go sailing on the lake. I don’t know. [looking at his feet, under his breath] Be great in case it floods or something…
That is a perfectly good mini Christmas tree. We are going to sell that to charity because that is what Christmas is all about.
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