Her eyes were open, taking in my tired face... Her face twitched into what looked like a squinty smile, and in her wordless expression I saw gratitude, and relief, and trust. I wanted, desperately, not to disappoint her.

Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Mots clés motherhood childbirth



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If it was true that moss did not have roots, and maternal love could grow spontaneously, as if from nothing, perhaps I had been wrong to believe myself unfit to raise my daughter. Perhaps the unattached, the unwanted, the unloved, could grow to give love as lushly as anyone else.

Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Mots clés as-if-from-nothing the-unloved the-unwanted



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Over time, we would learn each other and I would learn to love her like a mother loves a daughter, imperfectly and without roots.

Vanessa Diffenbaugh


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In that moment, we were the same, each of us destroyed by our limited understanding of reality.

Vanessa Diffenbaugh


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For eight years I dreamed of fire. Trees ignited as I passed them; oceans burned.

Vanessa Diffenbaugh


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This time, there was no escape, I could not turn away, could not leave without accepting what I had done. There was only one way to the other side, and that was through the pain.

Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Mots clés life pain philosophy acceptance-of-oneself



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Non mi fido, come la lavanda. Mi difendo, come il rododendro . Sono sola, come la rosa bianca, e ho paura. E quando ho paura, lascio…

Vanessa Diffenbaugh


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I believe you can prove everyone wrong, too, Victoria. Your behavior is a choice; it isn't who you are.

Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Mots clés inspirational choice



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Meredith Combs, the social worker responsible for selecting the stream of adoptive families that gave me back, wanted to talk to me about blame.

Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Mots clés chapter-1 page-8 meredith-combs the-language-of-flowers vanessa-diffenbaugh victoria-jones



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For eight years I dreamed of fire. Trees ignited as I passed them; oceans burned. The sugary smoke settled in my hair as I slept, the scent like a cloud left on my pillow as I rose. Even so, the moment my mattress started to burn, I bolted awake. The sharp, chemical smell was nothing like the hazy syrup of my dreams; the two were as different as Carolina and Indian jasmine, separation and attachment. They could not be confused.

Vanessa Diffenbaugh


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