My days are as long as despair can make them.
Kathryn HarrisonBut like a boat with a twisted rudder, I kept coming back to the same place. I wasn't going anywhere. I was myself, waiting on the shore for me to return.
Was that so depressing?
Who knows? Maybe that was 'despair.' What Turgenev called 'disillusionment.' Or Dostoyevsky, 'hell.' Or Somerset Maugham, 'reality.' Whatever the label, I figured it was me.
Mots clés disillusionment reality despair self hell dostoyevsky maugham
Shall I run back into the desert ... and stay there until the devil has passed out of me and I am fit to meet human kind again without driving it to despair at the first look? I haven't had enough desert yet.
Saul BellowMots clés despair reflection introspection desert
Loyal companions are an unequaled grace, stanching fear before it bleeds you numb, a reliable antidote for creeping despair.
Dean KoontzMots clés fear friendship despair grace companionship loyalty
Death has become so predictable that I have neither the youthful reverence of it nor the middle-age fear.
Meghna PantMots clés inspirational death despair loneliness old-age
Investigating Koreiko's case might take a long time," said Ostap. "God only knows how long. And since there is no God, nobody knows. We are in a terrible bind.
Ilya IlfMots clés despair
The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.
Juliette LewisMots clés despair courage bravery suicide death-and-dying hopelessness mental-health mental-illness suicidality mental-disorder mental-health-stigma suicidal-thoughts death-wish
At cocktail parties, I played the part of a successful businessman's wife to perfection. I smiled, I made polite chit-chat, and I dressed the part. Denial and rationalization were two of my most effective tools in working my way through our social obligations. I believed that playing the roles of wife and mother were the least I could do to help support Tom's career.
During the day, I was a puzzle with innumerable pieces. One piece made my family a nourishing breakfast. Another piece ferried the kids to school and to soccer practice. A third piece managed to trip to the grocery store. There was also a piece that wanted to sleep for eighteen hours a day and the piece that woke up shaking from yet another nightmare. And there was the piece that attended business functions and actually fooled people into thinking I might have something constructive to offer.
I was a circus performer traversing the tightwire, and I could fall off into a vortex devoid of reality at any moment. There was, and had been for a very long time, an intense sense of despair. A self-deprecating voice inside told me I had no chance of getting better. I lived in an emotional black hole.
p20-21, talking about dissociative identity disorder (formerly multiple personality disorder).
Mots clés reality social despair emotion denial depression acting perfection social-anxiety puzzle hopeless hopelessness mental-health rationalization mental-illness circus pieces pretending dissociative-identity-disorder multiple-personality-disorder black-hole parts mpd did functioning
Not wanting the girls to endure the shame of a crazy mother, I spent my days acting as normal as possible. I walked through life, an actor in a Leave it to Beaver episode, determined to disguise all clues of my real condition until... well, until I could find an appropriate moment to do away with myself." [...]
"Yet even as my depression spiraled into ever more precarious territory, I retained an uncanny ability to disguise my true mental condition from everyone except Tom. He was my sole source of strength and he never stopped encouraging me.
Mots clés despair emotion depression acting daughters hopelessness mental-health mental-illness disguise suicidality pretending dissociative-identity-disorder multiple-personality-disorder depressive mpd severe-depression suicidehopeless
In one of his darker moments, the irony started him laughing and he couldn't stop, and the sounds that came from him, before finally tapering into sobs, were so far from mirth they might have been the forced inversion of laughter-like a soul pulled inside out to reveal its rawest meats.
Laini TaylorMots clés despair emotions akiva karou beautiful-description
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