She felt the depth of her losses before they were realized, and she wondered, Is there still hope? Did she even dare hold on to such a tenuous thing as hope?
Sage SteadmanMots clés loss hope grief hopelessness
I am afraid a monster is grown that will devour all of us. Yet we must fight him.
Isaac AsimovMots clés fear despair hopeless hopelessness monster
The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.
Juliette LewisMots clés despair courage bravery suicide death-and-dying hopelessness mental-health mental-illness suicidality mental-disorder mental-health-stigma suicidal-thoughts death-wish
At cocktail parties, I played the part of a successful businessman's wife to perfection. I smiled, I made polite chit-chat, and I dressed the part. Denial and rationalization were two of my most effective tools in working my way through our social obligations. I believed that playing the roles of wife and mother were the least I could do to help support Tom's career.
During the day, I was a puzzle with innumerable pieces. One piece made my family a nourishing breakfast. Another piece ferried the kids to school and to soccer practice. A third piece managed to trip to the grocery store. There was also a piece that wanted to sleep for eighteen hours a day and the piece that woke up shaking from yet another nightmare. And there was the piece that attended business functions and actually fooled people into thinking I might have something constructive to offer.
I was a circus performer traversing the tightwire, and I could fall off into a vortex devoid of reality at any moment. There was, and had been for a very long time, an intense sense of despair. A self-deprecating voice inside told me I had no chance of getting better. I lived in an emotional black hole.
p20-21, talking about dissociative identity disorder (formerly multiple personality disorder).
Mots clés reality social despair emotion denial depression acting perfection social-anxiety puzzle hopeless hopelessness mental-health rationalization mental-illness circus pieces pretending dissociative-identity-disorder multiple-personality-disorder black-hole parts mpd did functioning
Not wanting the girls to endure the shame of a crazy mother, I spent my days acting as normal as possible. I walked through life, an actor in a Leave it to Beaver episode, determined to disguise all clues of my real condition until... well, until I could find an appropriate moment to do away with myself." [...]
"Yet even as my depression spiraled into ever more precarious territory, I retained an uncanny ability to disguise my true mental condition from everyone except Tom. He was my sole source of strength and he never stopped encouraging me.
Mots clés despair emotion depression acting daughters hopelessness mental-health mental-illness disguise suicidality pretending dissociative-identity-disorder multiple-personality-disorder depressive mpd severe-depression suicidehopeless
….Nothing was inevitable. She had not chosen this way. It was her fate. It had been decided since before time began. It had been decided before she began. Nothing could be done. There was no point in trying. It was way too late. The inevitability of nothing was totally supreme, overriding everything. No way out. No way through. She could only accept the unacceptable. She could only endure the unendurable. Nothing was wrong!
Nothing was wrong and the wrongness of this awesome nothing seeped from her. Some people, only a few, saw it. Some people, only a few felt it. Some people, only a few, recognised it and in recognising it for what it was, raged against it. Through the nothingness, these few reached out for her.
She could not reach back. Through the nothingness, these few fought for her. She could not fight back for herself. Through the nothingness, these few cared for her. She could not care back for herself. Through the nothingness, these few spoke out for her, shattering the frozen silence over and over again. She could not speak out for herself…. “
*I hope this may give some comfort to people who need it. There are good, caring people (whether outside or within yourself, if need be) and you do deserve to be cared for and supported as much as anyone else does."
From “Nothing”, one of the short stories in “Fight! Rabbit! Fight!
Mots clés silence comfort hopelessness care neglect ritual-abuse abuse unendurable emotional-abuse emotional-neglect
Life is the tragedy,' she said bitterly. 'You know how they categorize Shakespeare's plays, right? If it ends with a wedding, it's a comedy. And if it ends with a funeral, it's a tragedy. So we're all living tragedies, because we all end the same way, and it isn't with a goddamn wedding.
Robyn SchneiderMots clés life death tragedy hopelessness
Depression, is like trying to find a light switch in pitch darkness. Defeating it takes much assistance and resource. First, it's letting in loved ones that are reaching out, when light will begin to shine.
Anthony LiccioneMots clés hope darkness light suicide openness shine depression defeat hopelessness guidance reaching-out loved-ones resource
I am sorry for when I do it
hopefully one day you'll realise why.
Please do not be angry;
just understand that today I tried.
Mots clés understanding hopelessness tried
But there is one thing I do know, tucked away inside myself: hope unstitches you. Hope leaves you open and wounded. Without hope there is no fear, there is just living.
Patti RussonMots clés hope hopelessness
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