Boys are just dogs

Scylar Tyberius

Mots clés humorous



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Darcy’s hand suddenly rammed angrily into a bowl of fruit and grasped an innocent, unsuspecting orange. “Enough. The woman is demented. Our marriage is simply something to which she must become adjusted. She insulted Elizabeth and her family, and in so doing, she insulted me.” With an expression as black as pitch, Darcy commenced to vivisecting the orange. By the time he finished with said orange, it was completely dead, thoroughly dead, with no semblance remaining of its prior orange existence.

Karen V. Wasylowski

Mots clés humorous



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Tell me, Mr. Bennet, how can we amuse you during your visit? Do you hunt?” Lady Catherine was spooning her turtle soup, blowing delicately to cool it.
“I am certain an animal would sooner die of laughter than gunshot wound if I even made the attempt.

Karen V. Wasylowski

Mots clés humorous



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Darcy rolled the quill between his fingers and looked with benign pity upon his cousin. “You should, you know. It’s a wonderful feeling to be the head of your home, with a wife who adores you and whom you adore in return.”

Fitzwilliam whipped out his pocket watch. “Oh, look at that. I have to run."
Ignoring him, Darcy turned his face to the fire, a besotted look in his eyes and a smile on his lips. “It’s a good feeling to care for your family and their well-being. It makes you finally grow up, I can tell you.” He sighed deeply and began attacking his figures once more, his mind filled with unlimited love and joy, thinking on his upcoming paternal responsibilities. “I myself find women to be unbelievably wonderful creations.”

“I suppose you will continue with this treacle even as I beg you to stop.”

“Well, think about it…” Darcy continued, looking up from his work.

Fitzwilliam groaned.

“They give back to you double and triple whatever little you hand them.”

“I think I’m going to be ill, Darcy. Please stop.”

“You hand them disparate items of food, and they give you back a wonderful meal. You provide them with four walls and a floor, and they give you back a loving home. You give them your seed,” Darcy’s eyes misted, his voice choked with emotion. “You give them your seed, and they give you back the most precious thing of all—a child…” They sat in silence together.

“And God help you if you give them shit.” Fitzwilliam was calmly packing tobacco into his pipe, and his eyes met Darcy’s for a moment. Understanding flashed between them.

“Amen to that, Cousin.” Darcy crashed down to earth, quickly resuming his work

Karen V. Wasylowski

Mots clés inspirational humorous



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I only have so much willpower, Helen," he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the covers before I do something stupid.

Josephine Angelini

Mots clés love humorous lucas



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So we waited. I felt useless. I felt like I was in the way. I wished I had some nervous habits so I could indulge in them.

Moira J. Moore

Mots clés humorous



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Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened?

Carroll Bryant

Mots clés humorous humorous-quotations humorous-philosophy



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Doubt is a lot like faith; A mustard's seed worth changes everything.

Donna Johnson

Mots clés humorous family-relationships religion-meaning literary-memoir



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So the world was nuts and he'd suddenly discovered a kink for geeks. There were worse things.

Louisa Edwards

Mots clés humorous



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He'd never asked for an exciting life. What he really liked, what he sought on every occasion, was boredom. The trouble was that boredom tended to explode in your face. Just when he thought he'd found it he'd be suddenly involved in what he supposed other people - thoughtless, feckless people - would call an adventure. And he'd be forced to visit many strange lands and meet exotic and colourful people, although not for very long because usually he'd be running. He'd seen the creation of the universe, although not from a good seat, and had visited Hell and the afterlife. He'd been captured, imprisoned, rescued, lost and marooned. Sometimes it had all happened on the same day.

Terry Pratchett

Mots clés adventure humorous



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