Recognition is what you feel when a friend sums up exactly what you’re feeling, when an author gives you the right words, when someone “gets” you.
Laurie A. HelgoeMots clés introversion
In an extroverted society, we rarely see ourselves in the mirror. We get alienating feedback. Alienating feedback comes in the form of repeated encouragement to join or talk, puzzled expressions, well-intended concern, and sometimes, all-out pointing and laughing. Alienating feedback happens when we hear statements like, “What kind of loser would be home on a Saturday night?” Alienating feedback happens where neighborhoods, schools, and offices provide no place to retreat. Alienating feedback happens when our quiet spaces and wilderness sanctuaries are seen as places to colonize.
Laurie A. HelgoeMots clés introversion
The Socially Accessible introvert looks like an extrovert on the outside and sees extroversion as a bar that he or she can never quite reach. These individuals are often very successful in social arenas, but fault themselves for not having more fun.
Laurie A. HelgoeMots clés introversion
The British attendees reported a similar difficulty identifying introverts in America because “U.S. Introverts exhibited behavior that in the United Kingdom was associated with Extroversion: sociability, comfort with small talk, disclosure of personal information, energetic and fast-paced conversation, and so forth.” Most Americans, whether introverted or extroverted, have learned to look like extroverts.
Laurie A. HelgoeMots clés introversion
the extrovert assumption is so woven into the fabric of our culture that an employee may suffer reprimands for keeping his door closed (that is, if he is one of the lucky ones who has a door), for not lunching with other staff members, or for missing the weekend golf game or any number of supposedly morale-boosting celebrations. Half. More than half of us don’t want to play. We don’t see the point. For us, an office potluck will not provide satisfying human contact—we’d much rather meet a friend for an intimate conversation (even if that friend is a coworker). For us, the gathering will not boost morale — and will probably leave us resentful that we stayed an extra hour to eat stale cookies and make small talk. For us, talking with coworkers does not benefit our work—it sidetracks us.
Laurie A. HelgoeMots clés introversion
For the introvert, conversation can be a very limited forum for self-expression. When a song moves you, a writer “gets” you, or a theory enlightens you—you and its creator are connecting in a realm beyond sight or speech.
Laurie A. HelgoeMots clés introversion
Where else but cyberspace does the introvert have the opportunity to start in our comfort zone of written communication and talk later?
Laurie A. HelgoeMots clés introversion
If you retreat in response to desire rather than deprivation, the deprivation may never come.
Laurie A. HelgoeMots clés introversion
For the introvert, as for the flâneur, observing is not a fallback position—something we do because we can’t participate. We watch because we want to. There is something wonderfully grounding about remaining still as others mull about—or mulling about while others remain still. Against the backdrop of the scene, the introvert feels more like an “I.
Laurie A. HelgoeMots clés introversion
Though introverts are drained by interaction, we can take immense pleasure in watching the scene around us.
Laurie A. HelgoeMots clés introversion
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