I quite enjoy the banter actually. I mean, you don't meet many females who can come back at you as fast as you can throw it out at them. I prefer a more graphic dialogue as a forerunner to sex though: if they have the guts to spell it out for me in glorious Technicolor that always gets my interest.

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Mandy (lentil eating, lesbian, long socks) in PR

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Guys like you would try to shag the button hole in a fur coat.

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They're so retarded they think stereotype means typing with both hands.

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I'll email you,” he says as if he's asking me into the cellar to taste his vintage champagne.

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He's lighting up my life and I don't even know his name. He's already perfect.

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We must have been very very bad in our last lives, cos karma's busy making macramé with us.

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The soy is seeping through the material like a BP oil slick in a Louisiana swamp.

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I don't know what's in the water but chivalrous men seem to be landing here along with the weird lights in the sky and nine coloured rainbows. They said the end of the world was close, I just didn't expect men with manners to be part of the equation

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he just clamps his lips over mine and sticks his tongue so far into my mouth I feel like I'm being examined by the ENT gynae

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