It is difficult when reading the description of certain fictional characters not at the same time to imagine the real-life acquaintances who they most closely, if often unexpectedly, resemble.

Alain de Botton

Tag: literature life-lessons philosophy-of-life



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One cannot read a novel without ascribing to the heroine the traits of the one we love.

Alain de Botton

Tag: literature life-lessons



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The feeling one has no time to get anything done provides the pressure that guarantees one does get some things done.

Alain de Botton

Tag: time pressure accomplishments



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We continue to need exhortations to be sympathetic and just, even if we do not believe that there is a God who has a hand in wishing to make us so. We no longer have to be brought into line by the threat of hell or the promise of paradise; we merely have to be reminded that it is we ourselves -- that is, the most mature and reasonable parts of us (seldom present in the midst of our crises and obsessions) -- who want to lead the sort of life which we once imagined supernatural beings demanded of us. An adequate evolution of morality from superstition to reason should mean recognizing ourselves as the authors of our own moral commandments.

Alain de Botton

Tag: life reason morality morals god atheism superstition commandments



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Just be yourself' is about the worst advice you can give some people.

Alain de Botton

Tag: life advice being-yourself



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Books should be full of stuff you could never say to people in public.

Alain de Botton

Tag: books



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What kills us isn't one big thing, but thousands of tiny obligations we can't turn down for fear of disappointing others.

Alain de Botton

Tag: disappointment obligations



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Our innate imbalances are further aggravated by practical demands. Our jobs make relentless calls on a narrow band of our faculties, reducing our chances of achieving rounded personalities and leaving us to suspect (often in the gathering darkness of a Sunday evening) that much of who we are, or could be, has gone unexplored. Society ends up containing a range of unbalanced groups, each hungering to sate its particular psychological deficiency, forming the backdrop against which our frequently heated conflicts about what is beautiful plays themselves out.

Alain de Botton


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Don't despair: despair suggests you are in total control and know what is coming. You don't - surrender to events with hope.

Alain de Botton

Tag: despair hope foresight control surrender



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We could not be fulfilled if we weren't inauthentic some of the time—inauthentic, that is, in relation to such things as our passing desires to throttle our children, poison our spouse, or end our marriage over a dispute about changing a lightbulb.

Alain de Botton

Tag: civilization necessity authenticity desires chaos repression order



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