Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: humor truisms



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Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: eternity immortality



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It looked like diamonds, rubies, emeralds; he could think of nothing beautiful which it did not resemble.

Ambrose Bierce


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optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with disproof - an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: fools



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love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage of by removal of the patient from the influences under which he/she incurred the disorder. This disease, like Caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than the patient.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: love



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acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: friendship



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Marriage, n.: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: marriage



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diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: politics



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Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket...

Ambrose Bierce


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Good-bye — if you hear of my being stood up against a Mexican stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease, or falling down the cellar stairs. To be a Gringo in Mexico — ah, that is euthanasia.

Ambrose Bierce


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